Work: Never gets old

Never gets old

By Anonymous - 26/07/2013 03:15 - United States - Kannapolis

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 896

You deserved it 20 587

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/10/2014 18:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 536

You deserved it 3 482

By megan - 01/04/2015 17:56 - United States - Lutz

Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 201

You deserved it 2 472

By DUMMIE - 04/03/2010 00:07 - United States

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 639

You deserved it 30 299

By EMT_Koulianos - 25/05/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 121

You deserved it 4 089

By Australian Lifeguard - 22/10/2014 03:18 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 846

You deserved it 4 028

By thedullard - 16/02/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 455

You deserved it 31 223

By guy - 30/07/2012 03:24 - United States - Avon Lake

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 152

You deserved it 5 795

By ViviMage - 20/07/2018 20:30

Today, while working in a blood drawing clinic, a mom sat in the chair holding her 4-year-old child, who kicked me square in the groin. Being a heavyset lady, I shrugged it off and collected the sample, while the child screamed, "Kicking worked on the last man that did this!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 877

You deserved it 373

Pumped up

By Macey Brietenback - 13/04/2023 00:00

Today, I was in the hospital. My mom was with me and the pump was beeping for over two hours because everyone was busy with other patients. The Asian doctor came in and my mom said, “THESE PUMPS SOUND LIKE CHINESE TORTURE!“ He stared at her and was like, “Umm. We don’t actually do that there.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 132

By no sir I have not - 08/03/2013 00:35 - United States

Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 353

You deserved it 36 322

CDobs 8

Friday 26 July 2013 9:09

No worries, I'd have done the same thing.

AGB10 19

Friday 26 July 2013 9:10

Nothing wrong with that..I think it's amusing too..specially if the trainer is cute ;) Look on the bright side - Maybe you were the only one in the room who feels 25..and the rest maybe 25 but going in 70..

Comments

CDobs 8

Friday 26 July 2013 9:09

No worries, I'd have done the same thing.

SmallyBigs 9

Friday 26 July 2013 9:13

Everyone is a kid on the inside :D

HowAreYouToday 34

Friday 26 July 2013 9:13

I get how that'd be funny, but OP seems slightly immature. It could have been worse though. You could have blurted out that you're excellent at giving good fast pumpings.

Caitie_kid 8

Friday 26 July 2013 9:35

No, OP has a sense of humor.

shan88 14

Friday 26 July 2013 11:01

I would have been right there with you OP.

Treveyon56 14

Friday 26 July 2013 11:08

Way to go OP. I did the same just from reading.

SMHsohard 22

Friday 26 July 2013 15:16

Health Care professionals get recertified every 2 years. Frankly, the class is boring as balls after the first couple (especially the BLS class). I'm a 56 year old nurse and I would have been snickering right along with OP.

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 26 July 2013 17:09

boring as balls? Obviously, you haven't seen MY balls... :-/

Ambient25 24

Friday 26 July 2013 17:31

But you have, hence the hate for life...

mr_sarcastic416 29

Sunday 28 July 2013 9:20

all of us are a kid inside, some of us are just too afraid to let the kid come out & play

Peachy2392 26

Monday 11 November 2013 7:09

Docbastard, is that you?

AGB10 19

Friday 26 July 2013 9:10

flashback.miss 28

Friday 26 July 2013 9:10

Haha XD should've disguised it with coughing~~~!

iAlissa 34

Friday 26 July 2013 9:24

May I ask you what in the hell is in that eyeball? Cause it's starting to freak me out a bit

flashback.miss 28

Friday 26 July 2013 9:27

supposedly an eye leech :D I got it off of Mr. Creepypasta's page on facebook :)

iAlissa 34

Friday 26 July 2013 9:31

That's rather disgusting

ILoveMyArm 15

Friday 26 July 2013 10:06

I think it is rather lovely, it has this mystical power of making me want to upchuck whenever I see it. :)

KaeSAL 11

Friday 26 July 2013 10:22

I'm pretty sure that's grape jam.

babeababe 16

Friday 26 July 2013 18:37

I think you're doomed to get down voted every time you comment because of that picture.

MGITSWFTC 17

Friday 26 July 2013 18:53

Looking closely, I'm pretty sure that's too purple to be blood, and that's definitely not a leech. Which begs the question: who the hell puts grape jelly on their eye and takes a photo?

Aeroxx1337 17

Saturday 27 July 2013 8:23

Looking closely, the eye has purple stuff around it too. I think the blob is purple makeup on the camera lens in a very convenient shape. At least, I hope it is.

dinosxxrawr 22

Friday 26 July 2013 9:10

don't you ever grow up kid.

mangoboy1 19

Friday 26 July 2013 9:11

Don't be embarrassed. I'd laugh too, and so would most.

simplysarcastics 26

Friday 26 July 2013 9:11

Hey, sometimes you can't always control your laughter, I probably would have giggled and got stares too.

PresAgent 23

Friday 26 July 2013 9:12

I would have laughed too, OP. A healthy sense of humor is priceless. I know from experience those first-aid classes can get boring quickly. Good on you for finding humor in such a course, even if the others were a bit prudish.