Today, I have the stomach flu. If my belly growls, I have 30 seconds or less to get to the bathroom. I can't go to the doctor for fear of shitting my pants on the trip there. FML
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By
xXxXxMasonxXxXx
| 7
Wear a diaper and drive as fast as u can
By
Fruit_Dealer
| 9
I'm sure certain fruits will help. Let me check in my collection.. Hmmm not that.. This could do. Here, try a few bananas.
COMMENTS
By
krad204
| 21
First, Scientology is awesome, I kill kittens
By
xXxXxMasonxXxXx
| 7
Wear a diaper and drive as fast as u can
Reply
m0tl3ycru3
| 0
Good idea but has spare adult diapers laying around?
Reply
boofgall
| 16
Shopping bag and tape. Get creative!
Reply
natskie
| 7
If OP has friends he could get someone to buy some diapers. Or just tough it out!
Reply
evamusical
| 12
It will be over in a day, u dont need a doctor
Reply
kbtoyz69
| 9
xlax might make it go through faster?...maybe
Reply
zebraface123
| 6
give the doctor a house call
Reply
graham11
| 14
Go on google maps to find the quickest route to the doctor. And then make sure to check the box next to "avoid shitty situations"
Reply
omgcookeys
| 15
Or wear the "sumo pee blocker" from smosh. :P
Reply
Fudgeblocks
| 2
I was thinking the op should sit on the toilet for 24 hours and call the doctor for help add a tv, laptop, phone into the bathroom and it will be all good.
Reply
skinflint
| 6
#31: that's hilarious!
Reply
ATSViper
| 15
Asses of fire, your ass would have a movie made after it if you took xlax while having the stomach flu...bad idea.
Reply
ifinsane
| 6
Why don't you just wait it out you big pussy.
Reply
theblackishkid1
| 6
This guy has the right idea
Reply
Prolux_fml
| 23
You could go through all of that trouble, or you could just wait it out for a day. You're not going to die, are you?
By
Fruit_Dealer
| 9
I'm sure certain fruits will help. Let me check in my collection.. Hmmm not that.. This could do. Here, try a few bananas.
Reply
stephan18
| 23
Dude I swear to god I saw that guy in your pic yesterday, he had same clothes he kept looking at me and when he got off the subway he leaned against the door, did a twist and blew me a kiss, which is weird cuz I'm a guy.
Reply
Bourne_
| 5
Seriously??
Reply
Fruit_Dealer
| 9
Couldn't help but notice that saying "by fear" instead of "for fear" would be much better.
By
hobosapien081
| 10
krad24 fails at life for the "first" comment... hope you get well soon OP and don't forget to hydrate
By
KateWesley44
| 0
what a crappy situation. (it had to be said!)
Reply
jackassiddy
| 8
Did it?..
Reply
murdersquirrel
| 15
Nope
Reply
Michael_92
| 20
Someone had to do it haha
Reply
Marcella1016
| 30
I clicked comments just to see if someone would do it lol
Reply
Donniehw
| 5
If only you were single... *sigh* you're very pretty though! Your bf is lucky...
Reply
KateWesley44
| 0
um, me?
By
krad204
| 21
Some doctors do house calls
Reply
The_Great_Zucchi
| 14
In civilised places almost all doctors make housecalls...
Reply
xiaoxaio
| 5
who needs doctors iv gotten stomach flu before and never went to the doctors.. pussies
By
ImBobo_fml
| 0
why don't you ask the doctor to come to you..?
By
uprising_fml
| 0
that sounds awful . sorry OP, stomach illnesses are the worst .
maybe you could wait until the storm is over? (even if it is briefly) but you should call someone to come over . I know you're just taking shits, but if you start throwing up, it will be nice to have someone .
maybe you could wait until the storm is over? (even if it is briefly) but you should call someone to come over . I know you're just taking shits, but if you start throwing up, it will be nice to have someone .
Reply
Exeggcute
| 5
I completely agree I have these awful shits all the time!
By
wriptidez
| 0
wear adult diaaper or if your female shift a kotex pad towards that end of buisness. both sexes could opt adult diaper though.
Reply
jackassiddy
| 8
It seems as though this is standard protocol for you..
Reply
YungG16
| 0
Stupid ass comment
Reply
Donniehw
| 5
Funny thing is... Yours is a "stupid ass comment" think before you speak prick....
Reply
Donniehw
| 5
Btw that last comment was to #124....
By
Badab1ng
| 5
Line your car with garbage bags, then let the green apple nasties commence! Easy clean up, plus the car ride will be filled with the sweet feeling of relief.
Reply
xXxXxMasonxXxXx
| 7
I jus got that picture in my head ._.