Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet...

By Mike - 25/4/2011 21:39

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55550

You deserved it

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Top comments

By forthepainx3 | 0

#2408360 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 8:38

that's a shitty situation

By Grimmerie | 31

#2408409 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 8:44

your attempts to foil them would have tanked. it sucks to have to put up with that kind of crap. at least they didn't tie you to a stool. although your attempts at heroism were flushed, try not to feel too shitty about it. after all, we can't all be heroes - someone has to be number two.

Comments

By ImInHawaiiBITCH | 0

#2408358 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 8:38

ilovejorgerabara | 3

#2408383 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 8:42

:( x2

paras0mnia | 3

#2408455 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 8:49

:( x3

dirtyblond | 4

#2408502 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 9:01

:( x4

racer337 | 2

#2408508 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 9:02

:( x5

kaylanicole1255 | 1

#2408520 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 9:04

:( x6

forthepainx3 | 0

#2408524 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 9:05

C-C-C COMBO BREAKER

dirtyblond | 4

#2408544 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 9:06

SHIT!!!>:/ ^^^

forthepainx3 | 0

#2408557 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 9:08

mwuhaha

TheRealFamilyGuy | 5

#2408730 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 9:35

if it's was so violent why didn't you let the shit beat the shit out of the robbers?

TeDDY0522 | 0

#2408787 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 9:51

:( x7000

boatingboy1011 | 0

#2408859 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 10:08

:( x over 9000

JustLetItHappen | 2

#2408866 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 10:09

Dude, people stay away from crazy. But when you got shit, nobody messes with you. Get off the crapper next time.

smmrgrl | 1

#2409420 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 14:02

this îs why people should always have their phonea with them in the toilet :) plus, when ur bored, u could always play gaaammeesss :D

aquariusangel420 | 0

#2409502 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 14:33

Well you priolly already had a mess to clean up but I woulda got up off that toilet quicker than fast and beat their asses finishing off the diareaa sp? on their heads that's what fuckers get for messing with your house

urdirtyolduncle | 15

#2410141 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 17:00

This guy gives a whole new meaning to "a shitty situation"

bravesfan112233 | 0

#2410184 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 17:05

did you at least wipe?

EnaBoC | 5

#2410955 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 19:38

Lol I always bring my phone with me. in fact....I'm taking a shit as I type this =)

angelpies | 0

#2411248 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 20:57

me too.

MTJY | 21

#2411669 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 22:23

Me three

syndragore | 0

#2413716 - Wednesday 27 April 2011 3:27

c-c-c-combo breaker

QuantumLegend | 0

#2415087 - Wednesday 27 April 2011 8:31

"looking for my treasure!?" proceed: unload on their faces

SuperAnthony | 7

#2551174 - Monday 23 May 2011 5:36

You should be happy that you were safe in a locked bathroom away from possibly armed men, though that really sucks.

By forthepainx3 | 0

#2408360 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 8:38

that's a shitty situation

alakomonus | 0

#2408534 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 9:06

old pun

AnagenisisZagus | 13

#2408547 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 9:07

Fuck up!
Have a nice day. :)

mystifi | 0

#2408923 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 10:45

lol

Miss_Michaela | 10

#2408988 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 11:26

You've 'robbed' the hopes of people's hearts in which they believed no one would use that pun ever again.

testthecoal | 5

#2409112 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 12:21

puns like this Want to make me tear my eyes out...

Miss_Michaela | 10

#2409162 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 12:31

Testthecoal- Hahaha. Nice. :)

TheWindowLicker | 13

#2409588 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 15:09

As funny as that pun was when I first heard it, when it's misused it's not that great.

j_cat187 | 19

#2410576 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 18:30

keep a pistol in every room in the house

Dreamcatcher619 | 6

#2410887 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 19:28

wow, as funny as it is I think I heard that a million times everyone talks about jersey shore, but thanks.

jordypaige11 | 0

#2411842 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 22:51

yes!!!

iislix1ii | 19

#2413444 - Wednesday 27 April 2011 2:10

http://www.google.com/m/url?client=safari&ei=MVq3TbjhEdbZlgfV94aOAQ&hl=en&oe=UTF-8&q=http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Are_Fladoodles_real&ved=0CB4QFjAC&usg=AFQjCNGFddbgAKWP5h38wgX1JiuFMp988g

iislix1ii | 19

#2413455 - Wednesday 27 April 2011 2:12

omg srry tht was a mistake -_- i didnt mean to paste

erinhaydenn | 0

#2413579 - Wednesday 27 April 2011 2:34

that would scare the shit out of me .

l_e04 | 1

#2413675 - Wednesday 27 April 2011 3:07

I was thinking the same thing.

ray5567 | 0

#2414196 - Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:10

hahaha nicee

SNL | 2

#2414896 - Wednesday 27 April 2011 7:35

that's hilarious !!!!! XD

Xxak907xX | 0

#2422138 - Thursday 28 April 2011 8:02

zing!

wowzersselainee | 0

#2423283 - Thursday 28 April 2011 15:59

lol I see what u did there :0

roseof96 | 0

#2425690 - Thursday 28 April 2011 23:05

Awesome!!!

silver0jay | 11

#2427316 - Friday 29 April 2011 4:04

literally!

MaKenay | 0

#3054279 - Sunday 7 August 2011 2:38

LOLLLL hahahaha

BigMacBoi | 3

#3109297 - Monday 15 August 2011 0:50

#116
It's not like they'd find it or anything y'know there only looking through everything for valuables -_-
Robbers: " OH HEY A GUN!"

By The_Voytek_Bear | 14

#2408371 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 8:40

You could have used your weakness as your weapon. Fugure out how ]:->

mamamiaaa_fml | 12

#2408655 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 9:23

^lmao so true.

kingtz | 6

#2408709 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 9:32

#3 I was thinking the exact same thing!

christian50 | 0

#2409381 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 13:51

In a situation like that, you gotta let the shot hit the fan and go kick some ass.

eckksDeeitsTravi | 0

#2409586 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 15:09

boobs

vyktor_fml | 0

#2413306 - Wednesday 27 April 2011 1:52

Haha this is great.

emmanizzer | 6

#2413673 - Wednesday 27 April 2011 3:06

run out there and shit on them.... gross but hey, they're stealing your stuff!

By Jrefinne | 7

#2408402 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 8:43

That's one of my biggest fears. FYL.

ydi_4_suking | 20

#2408803 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 9:54

to get robbed? or have violent explosive hershey squirts?

jackofdimonds | 3

#2409295 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 13:26

I think a combination of both

Saint_Pete_Saint | 0

#2419081 - Wednesday 27 April 2011 23:20

we^(my team and I) think this is hilarious but scary at the same time •.•

By Grimmerie | 31

#2408409 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 8:44

Juicelynlovesyou | 0

#2408446 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 8:47

awesome.

Gamer_Bum | 1

#2408487 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 8:57

#6 anymore extremely original puns you want to throw out there?

kaylanicole1255 | 1

#2408537 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 9:06

Ypu put wayyy too much effort into your comment! LOL :)

kaylanicole1255 | 1

#2408562 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 9:08

***You

DanDanGoesRawr | 0

#2408625 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 9:18

hahah simply amazing

kingtz | 6

#2408733 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 9:36

#6 wins the internets!

stfuitscindeeeh9 | 3

#2409206 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 12:51

Haha, I agree.

TheNewGuy03 | 28

#2409602 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 15:19

your comment is an upper-decker!

|the kid|

xMexicanXJesusx | 0

#2409799 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 16:11

I wanted to thumbs up this comment but it has 69 thumbs up. RESPECT THE 69.

ahlecksgee | 0

#2410519 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 18:16

LOL

ahlecksgee | 0

#2410673 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 18:52

this guy spends to much time on FML. still a genius . lmao

Gi510 | 0

#2410694 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 18:56

That was hilarious

aardvarkish | 15

#2413289 - Wednesday 27 April 2011 1:49

6 succeeds in reminding me of Pendatik. A huge compliment.

kahbrah | 3

#2432278 - Saturday 30 April 2011 6:01

that was like poetry and ur a genius

dannyndyuh | 0

#2438126 - Sunday 1 May 2011 9:32

lol!!

By drugs123 | 0

#2408440 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 8:46

wonder what he ate the night before

By SpectSelf | 0

#2408463 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 8:50

I'm sure if you came out the bathroom with shit flying out your ass, they would've ran out the door with minimal gain. I mean a person who comes out the bathroom shitting on themselves does not give a fuck!!! you might have scared them.

allmidnighteyes | 10

#2408532 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 9:06

Exactly this. If you come at them like some senile fool with liquefied shit flowing down your leg and a handful of it ready to throw at the robbers, it's pretty much a guarantee that they will NOT fuck with you again.

puddy_fml | 0

#2408827 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 9:58

This made my night. I will, also, never forget this comment.

kai_li | 8

#2408874 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 10:12

This. I can take a shower, I can clean my pants and my carpet. OP is a fool. You must have homeowners insurance.

DCFan | 9

#2409182 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 12:38

lmfao!!!!!!

SeasonedLemur | 5

#2409228 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 13:01

I used to have a girlfriend that used to throw her turds at me, no joke. She used to laugh with glee as she squirted one out into the palm of her hand and then proceeded to launch it at me aiming specifically at mine eyes!!!