Health: Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet... - FML

By Mike - 25/04/2011 21:39

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 737

You deserved it 6 391

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/10/2009 10:56 - Australia

Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 214

You deserved it 6 126

By paywithpoop - 22/06/2014 15:10 - United States

Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 006

You deserved it 3 880

By Starving Ultimatum - 02/09/2011 01:55 - United States

Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 933

You deserved it 3 126

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 781

You deserved it 11 857

Get rid of the evidence!

By Anonymous - 18/08/2020 17:11

Today, while my roommate was taking a bath, I became horribly sick out of nowhere. Since the bathroom was occupied, I ended up having explosive diarrhea in an Amazon box in my bedroom, which I immediately ran out to the dumpster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 645

You deserved it 149

By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 11:37 - United States

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 164

You deserved it 2 767

Phantom pooper

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 17:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 417

By Man Shamed - 29/06/2019 10:00 - United States - Hyattsville

Today, while using the bathroom in a small coffee shop, I somehow passed out sitting on the toilet. There is nothing more jarring than waking up to the vicious banging of 7 angry, urine-filled patrons attempting to break down a door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 425

You deserved it 1 098

By fire0fisis - 03/02/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 103

You deserved it 2 315

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 468

You deserved it 4 808

Next

Top comments

forthepainx3 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 8:38

that's a shitty situation

Grimmerie 31

Tuesday 26 April 2011 8:44

your attempts to foil them would have tanked. it sucks to have to put up with that kind of crap. at least they didn't tie you to a stool. although your attempts at heroism were flushed, try not to feel too shitty about it. after all, we can't all be heroes - someone has to be number two.

Comments

Dr_Facilier 2

Thursday 28 April 2011 8:21

I would have gone after them, shit be damned

JJ123456 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 8:49

i woulda chased them anyways make em run from the smell>:)

TheyCallMeShery 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 8:57

your fault for eating Indian food

jadee000 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 16:50

This sounds fake...

aliserboi97 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 21:37

haha your life sucks

24savy 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 22:27

LMFAO

MmToasty 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 23:47

I laughed so hard, I almost cried.

kurdi 0

Friday 29 April 2011 3:20

hahahahahahahahhhahaha. omgg that made mY day

wwweee6362 0

Friday 29 April 2011 7:49

wow lol

itsallmadeup101 0

Friday 29 April 2011 8:18

dang dude that sucks..

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You deserved it 229

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I agree, your life sucks 5 804

You deserved it 418

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I agree, your life sucks 35 689

You deserved it 18 766

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I agree, your life sucks 26 309

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