Today, while using the bathroom in a small coffee shop, I somehow passed out sitting on the toilet. There is nothing more jarring than waking up to the vicious banging of 7 angry, urine-filled patrons attempting to break down a door. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while using the restroom at my favorite cafe, I fell asleep for 30 minutes. There is nothing more jarring than waking up to the banging of 7 angry, urine-filled patrons viciously breaking down the only barrier between between you and your shame. FML
Today, I was using a public restroom when the automatic toilet flushed prematurely. The sudden gush of water startled me so much that I jumped up and slipped, hitting my head on the stall door. A concerned stranger had to help me up. FML
Today, I had to use the bathroom really badly in a drug store. After I did a #2, just as I realized the handle on the toilet was broken, a knock came at the door. I tried fixing it for ten minutes, before slipping out the door, to come face to face with two employees coming to fix the toilet. FML
Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Today, I got home from working 14 hours straight, went to take a dump, and fell asleep on the toilet. I woke up later on the floor, covered in shit and piss, with my alarm going off, an hour before I was due back at work. FML
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML
Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at a friend’s house, used the toilet paper, and realized there was none left on the roll. I grabbed a replacement pack but it was all the way on the top shelf that was too high for me. I stood on tiptoes, balancing precariously on the toilet lid when it suddenly flipped down, knocking me off, and splashing pisswater everywhere. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lateralligator 12
You should ask your doctor about Vasovagal nerve syncope. There's a nerve that if it gets pressed (poop pressure) can cause you to pass out on the toilet. Can be dangerous if you slip and whack your head on a counter or something. also lol
Oley 27
I bet it scared the piss or shit out of you
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (6)
Oley 27
I bet it scared the piss or shit out of you
saberjpg 6
Maybe you should switch from decaf to caffeinated?
lateralligator 12
You should ask your doctor about Vasovagal nerve syncope. There's a nerve that if it gets pressed (poop pressure) can cause you to pass out on the toilet. Can be dangerous if you slip and whack your head on a counter or something. also lol
blondie45 21
What caused you to pass out? Were you drunk?
alycion 39
As someone with random fainting spells, I feel your pain. At least we figured out how to keep mine in remission. But passing out in front of the arena wasn’t embarrassing at all when my phone blew up asking if it was me. Hope you can find and treat the reason. Nothing to mess around with.
KittyMack 13
"Somehow" passed out? As in you weren't just overtired or something, you have no idea why it happened? Yowzers I do not like the sound of that. I hope you figure it out quickly and easily, and it is nothing too dangerous.
ojosRojos 28
Forget the other patrons... are you okay??