Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I took a big, smelly, satisfying dump when I woke up. When I tried to flush, nothing happened. None of my four roommates bothered to tell me we didn’t have running water. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, I discovered that when I sleep, I go to the bathroom to poop and don’t flush the toilet. I live with three roommates who all wake up before I do. FML
Today, I was feeling sick and I farted really loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML
Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I needed to take a dump at school. As soon as I sat down, somebody else walked in. I'm extremely poop-shy, so I was forced to wait for several minutes while they styled their hair and applied makeup. After they left, I breathed a sigh of relief. Then someone else walked in. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
What's wrong with you? You're supposed to stay with your poop until you give it a proper farewell. Sometimes a double flush is needed. Sometimes a plunger. Sometimes a poop knife.
heartbreaker 12
My ex-roomate frequently did the same thing. A half-flush. I started to hold my nose in preparation each time I entered the bathroom just in case. I lost count of the times I had to clean her mess before I could use the toilet myself. I had to 'check the bathroom' first anytime I had guests over. So gross. Now it is what I remember most about living with her. YDI.
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
What's wrong with you? You're supposed to stay with your poop until you give it a proper farewell. Sometimes a double flush is needed. Sometimes a plunger. Sometimes a poop knife.
wysegirl 24
typically a "my bad" is a good thing in this situation. shit happens.. as long as you own up to your shit no one is mad just grossed out
RichardPencil 32
I don't think you need to say "shit happens" in this case. This story is about shit that literally happened. The figure of speech provides no illumination.
heartbreaker 12
My ex-roomate frequently did the same thing. A half-flush. I started to hold my nose in preparation each time I entered the bathroom just in case. I lost count of the times I had to clean her mess before I could use the toilet myself. I had to 'check the bathroom' first anytime I had guests over. So gross. Now it is what I remember most about living with her. YDI.