Miscellaneous: Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump.... - FML

By Anonymous - 20/10/2009 10:56 - Australia

Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 227

You deserved it 6 134

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Same thing different taste

By Mike - 25/04/2011 21:39

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 747

You deserved it 6 397

By Starving Ultimatum - 02/09/2011 01:55 - United States

Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 944

You deserved it 3 127

By paywithpoop - 22/06/2014 15:10 - United States

Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 012

You deserved it 3 890

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 16:29 - United States - Woodland

Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 652

You deserved it 2 160

By xobeachbabi428ox - 18/07/2009 22:32 - United States

Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 203

You deserved it 7 981

By BedazzledAlpaca - 08/12/2014 05:03 - United States - Englewood

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 856

You deserved it 4 309

By why me - 24/10/2017 01:30

Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 318

You deserved it 288

By XYZee - 22/08/2012 20:27 - United States - Rockmart

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 949

You deserved it 2 009

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 18:18 - Netherlands - Den Dungen

Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 983

You deserved it 4 835

By Username - 13/12/2010 18:10 - United States

Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 092

You deserved it 4 302

Next

Top comments

albinorhino 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:07

well that shit musta been worth it huh...

Kervik 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:48

"I don't know about you, but when I crap, I crap LOUD." Yup, the whole internet wanted to hear that.

Comments

Sage1314 4

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:05

Awesome.

Zezing 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 19:39

Ydi for not having venomous guard snakes

Sun_Kissed18 25

Tuesday 20 October 2009 21:26

... I now wish I had venomous gaurd snakes. That would be awesome.

matt5217 4

Friday 27 August 2010 22:13

reminds me of the movie cop out

onlychildFTW 33

Friday 2 November 2012 8:17

Until they bite you. Then not so awesome.

Silent_Harmony 3

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:06

And you didn't hear it?

SueSylvester_fan 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:09

Of course he didn't hear it. When people go #2 they grunt and make lots of noises.

albinorhino 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:07

well that shit musta been worth it huh...

Zhejan 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:08

And he didn't rob your poo?

123man 11

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:08

Hear it?! I don't know about you, but when I crap, I crap LOUD. He was probably gruntin' so hard he wouldn't have heard sirens outside.

timtam24 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:20

good to know

Kervik 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:48

"I don't know about you, but when I crap, I crap LOUD." Yup, the whole internet wanted to hear that.

Silent_Harmony 3

Tuesday 20 October 2009 17:40

LMFAO!

Zezing 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 18:45

I did

Polionixon 2

Tuesday 20 October 2009 23:54

LOL!

99MDC 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:12

Shitty.

Gen_Knowledge 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:23

At least they didn't get your Laptop. Good turn, to take it with you while dumping.

Ellowise_fml 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:25

Haha :) This makes me chuckle. But I'm sorry :(

skyeyez9 24

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:26

sorry. My friends place was robbed while they were home too. the burglar cut a hole in the glass james bond style, no noise, nothing. Stole his moms jewerly, digital camera, 2 laptops. Burglar emptied my friends school gym bag an stuffed the loot in there. Shit happens. And some burglars are very sneaky that you may not even be aware it is happening.

haxx_fml 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 16:32

Were you scared shitless? :)

starlalove 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 20:19

LOL.

CrazeDblaze 0

Friday 5 March 2010 1:41

lmfao

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The Top

Today, while sitting at my desk at work, a co-worker asked for my help. It was only after I had walked over to his desk, bent over, answered his question, and walked back to my stall, that I felt a breeze. My tube top had slid down across my breasts, revealing my bra to the entire office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 870

You deserved it 43 620

Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it'd be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was, "Why bother? You're on your period, it's not like we can do anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 269

You deserved it 14 171

The Top

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 194

You deserved it 5 169

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 620

You deserved it 6 950

Today, I was gently awoken by my daylight alarm clock. So were about 15 wasps that had started building their nest underneath my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 110

Today, I made a joke about my electric lawnmower sounding like a bunch of angry bees. It was verified when I ran over a beehive in my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 275

You deserved it 554

Today, while talking to my parents, I dropped an ordinary drinking glass. After I apologized and cleaned the mess, they told me that they had decided that if I couldn't be careful at home, I certainly couldn't be careful on the roads. They took away my keys. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 658

You deserved it 2 785

Today, as I was strapping my boogie board to my wrist, a wave slammed the board right into my crotch. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 161