Miscellaneous: Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop... - FML

By Stu - 19/06/2012 09:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 679

You deserved it 2 765

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/11/2014 08:37 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me via Twitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 965

You deserved it 3 862

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 06:06 - United States - Chula Vista

Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 519

You deserved it 6 382

By Terminator101101 - 30/05/2013 23:06 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to go to the Apple store and log me on to Facebook on every single computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 886

You deserved it 9 150

Libel

By Anonymous - 17/07/2020 14:00

Today, my friends told me that my girlfriend of over a year and a half refers to me on Facebook, Twitter and Snapchat as "the monster I can't get rid of." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 541

You deserved it 192

Domestic bliss

By Good_old_Grim - 15/10/2009 13:51 - Latvia

Today, I stumbled upon my girlfriend's Twitter account that I didn't know existed. A recent entry states that living with me is pathetic; "it's just that the current economical situation doesn't leave her with many options." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 759

You deserved it 2 823

By Tweety - 09/04/2011 11:40 - United States

Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 884

You deserved it 8 510

By soannoyed - 22/09/2013 21:21 - United States

Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 720

You deserved it 4 408

By facebook - 24/06/2010 10:09 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend "accidentally" set her relationship status to "single", and 20 of my friends "liked" it, including my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 000

You deserved it 4 979

By Anonymous - 22/10/2010 02:25 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me on Facebook to stop calling/texting her because she lost her phone. Right under her post was "sent from Facebook for iPhone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 455

You deserved it 4 662

By AlonsoKold - 07/04/2014 23:39 - United States - Jackson

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 242

You deserved it 5 864

Next

Top comments

Red_Wing_Nut44 14

Tuesday 19 June 2012 16:18

My friend used to do that. Then, whenever he sent me something hashtagged, I'd reply with #thisisnottwitter. He stopped pretty quick.

Streeet_hayley 6

Tuesday 19 June 2012 17:11

How could 3 commenters in a row all get the hashtag placement wrong.

Comments

Glassmaster 0

Thursday 21 June 2012 5:58

Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter. She blocked me. FML.

Jonkbaby 22

Thursday 21 June 2012 7:15

dump his as!!

zander4310 5

Thursday 21 June 2012 7:50

Keep it on twitter or gtfo

ilovepi 0

Friday 22 June 2012 5:04

Its actually called an octothorpe

BrianFalconi 1

Friday 22 June 2012 5:49

What does op mean?

YourMoms_BF 2

Friday 22 June 2012 16:36

#FYL

ImTheAlpha 30

Wednesday 22 August 2012 18:28

Most of the people I follow almost never hashtag.

doglover100 28

Friday 23 November 2012 4:43

I'm on an officer team with two people who blocked me on Twitter for no reason. On Facebook and Twitter combined, I am blocked by 5 people, and I have no idea why. It doesn't do great to my self esteem, I can tell you that.

youknowimright 5

Wednesday 12 December 2012 0:36

YDI for caring about what happens on twitter

FurryRocks 10

Sunday 17 November 2013 0:07

How about for everyone who says "hash tag" I shoot out your knee caps and leave you out in the middle of a desert so birds eat you alive. It's a number sign not a "hash tag".

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The Top

Today, we went to disperse my father's ashes in his favorite lake. My brother was anxious to show off to his new wife, and took us to a fancy resort on the lake. He fell into the lake with my dad's ashes. Nobody laughed when he got out. Oh and as he's a stingy ass, I ended up paying for the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 121

Today, I found out my psycho ex also reads FML. She called me at work, pissed that I'd "publicly humiliated" her on here. I haven't posted about her at all. I'm sure the brick I found thrown through my window a few hours later has nothing to do with her, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 737

You deserved it 1 428

The Top

Today, it's my 17th birthday. I asked for a newer car because my car right now sucks. I got a book on photography. I don't own a camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 631

You deserved it 55 624

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 085

You deserved it 7 593

Today, my mom invited my asshole cousin to my daughter's 10th birthday party, saying that this is the best time for me to apologize for having him imprisoned 3 years ago. He’s the same cousin who held my daughter hostage after the cops cornered him in a drug bust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 180

You deserved it 265

Today, I was sleeping next to my girlfriend and I turned over to the sound of her talking in her sleep. Because it was so cute, I was happy and I smiled, until she began to talk about "Troy" and "all the nasty things you can do to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 707

You deserved it 2 575

Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 999

You deserved it 3 938

Today, I held the door open for an old lady, before realizing she was a teacher taking 20-plus kids to lunch at local burger joint, all of whom got in front of me in the line to order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 342

You deserved it 5 237