Money, Death, Awkward and Funerals: It's what he would've wanted - FML

It's what he would've wanted

By vinvin2210 - 10/02/2023 04:00

Today, we went to disperse my father's ashes in his favorite lake. My brother was anxious to show off to his new wife, and took us to a fancy resort on the lake. He fell into the lake with my dad's ashes. Nobody laughed when he got out. Oh and as he's a stingy ass, I ended up paying for the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 117

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Same thing different taste

By Lee - 21/06/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, we spread my uncle's ashes at my grandparents' house. We were on a hill overlooking a sunset. It was a beautiful ceremony… until the winds changed direction. Our whole family wound up covered in my Uncle. He's still stuck in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 831

You deserved it 4 137

By stolen - 11/04/2011 19:29 - United States

Today, I was robbed. They took my father's ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 053

You deserved it 5 351

By SeagullsShouldDie - 28/08/2010 06:07 - United States

Today, was my uncle's funeral. He was cremated, and his wish was to have his ashes spread into the sea. As we were waiting for the waves to come and take him away, a group of seagulls came by picking at all his ashes. I guess he tasted good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 135

You deserved it 3 378

By 3rdWheel1stBorn - 23/03/2018 19:00

Today, I saw that my biological father took his 2 favorite daughters on a luxury cruise to celebrate his birthday. I didn't find out until the pictures were posted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 675

You deserved it 258

So long, grandpa

By fcnk - 18/06/2009 02:40 - United States

Today, I took home my grandpa's ashes. I then went out with my grandma, leaving my 5-year-old at home with my 12-year-old. When I got home, my beaming 5-year-old opened the door, covered in white powder. My grandmother asked where all the powder had come from. She pointed to the empty ashbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 319

You deserved it 18 088

By SophieGray - 20/05/2011 23:33 - United States

Today, I went over to a guy's house for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me that I reminded him of his dead ferret. Distraught, he tearfully showed me her ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 887

You deserved it 5 061

By Anonymous - 19/10/2010 19:40 - United States

Today, my dads cremated remains came in the mail. This is the first time, in my entire adult life, that he has visited me at my home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 099

You deserved it 2 747

By worstfatherever - 10/07/2011 20:54 - United States

Today, I came home after having traveled abroad for the last two months. Before I left, I'd asked my dad to take care of my fish, and he promised they'd be safe with him. I found them all decomposing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 031

You deserved it 3 679

By disneyworld - 14/02/2010 05:49 - United States

Today, my dad told me he's taking the whole family to Disney World, even my step-brother's girlfriend. But not me, because he can't "afford" it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 964

You deserved it 2 457

Dead wrong

By Anonymous - 18/06/2020 08:08

Today, I attended my husband's funeral and my son carried out the eulogy, which basically turned into a character assassination, ending with "and I hope Hell is hot enough for you, old man." Almost our entire family agreed with every word he said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 813

You deserved it 554

Next

Top comments

Battousai124 6

Friday 10 February 2023 14:25

Dafuq? HE chooses the resort and somehow YOU pay for it???

RichardPencil 30

Friday 10 February 2023 15:44

It was probably worth every penny to see your pompous-ass brother make an... ...wait for it... ...ash...of himself.

Comments

Battousai124 6

Friday 10 February 2023 14:25

Dafuq? HE chooses the resort and somehow YOU pay for it???

RichardPencil 30

Friday 10 February 2023 15:44

It was probably worth every penny to see your pompous-ass brother make an... ...wait for it... ...ash...of himself.

Yudith 24

Saturday 11 February 2023 3:57

At least the ash is in the lake, and your father's remains as well.

cuz803 44

Friday 10 February 2023 15:58

Beat the shit outta him in loving memory of your father. That's a **** up you don't come back from.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend when she said she needed to pee. She came back 5 minutes later and started talking about how she hasn't seen her best friend in ages and misses her. Needless to say, I couldn't get the man downstairs back up when we continued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 074

You deserved it 184

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 607

You deserved it 5 177

The Top

Today, I was walking home when I heard a male voice behind me yelling, “Hey! Hello!” I walked faster and grabbed my pocket knife, turned around and pointed it at him. He just wanted to hand me back the keys I'd dropped. He then added something like, "Oh, and don’t get it twisted, you’re too fat to be kidnapped and raped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 232

You deserved it 1 940

Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 105

You deserved it 46 761

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 558

You deserved it 103

Today, it's been a week since I found an egg in the street that had seemingly fallen out of a nest. I'd bought a cage and an expensive incubator lamp to save it. It's thus been a week that I've been trying to save a mouldy old potato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 448

Today, my escape artist of a dog got out. She not only chased someone else's cat into someone else's house, but promptly defecated all over their living room floor out of excitement. That's one way to meet the new neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 181

You deserved it 5 064

Today, at school, I was trying to pee in the stall, but I couldn't. I repeatedly pushed my bladder. Unfortunately, I didn't realize a number of things. My stall was open, I made noises from frustration, and I looked like I was jacking off. When I gave up, somebody clapped and yelled, "FINALLY!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 013

You deserved it 51 352