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Re-evaluate the situation, and if she’s the abusive one, call her out!

Maybe she's talking about the size of your dick

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Maybe you ought to take her internet privileges away. The nerve! After all you do for her! I'm sure the basement you have her chained up in is very comfortable.

Re-evaluate the situation, and if she’s the abusive one, call her out!

Maybe she's talking about the size of your dick

Sounds like someone needs to be proven right... Get rid of HER first.