Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML
Today, my girlfriend was in the midst of giving me head when she got lockjaw. My dick was stuck inside her mouth as she bit down on it for over an hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
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Top comments
zarrganaut 17
Just tell her to be more careful. Laying off with the teeth isn't gonna hurt her feelings. Or at least it shouldn't.
justcommenting19 19
Why didn't you tell her how to do it right? If it's her first ******* too how is she supposed to know how to do it right?
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Comments (127)
PinkasaurusRex 25
You really should just tell her the truth. It'll be better for both of you if you do.
GoogieWithers 25
You have to tell her. Otherwise you will have the same bad ******* throughout the entire relationship. Your call...
becca1998 22
I mean wouldn't you be smart enough to not use your teeth?
GeorgiaBea 28
Some people like teeth...
katelng09 16
And she might not have realized that she was using teeth. She could've been too caught up in the moment to realize that she was using teeth.
becca1998 22
I guess yea, but I mean if it's his first one maybe it would be better without teeth
yerawizardlizzy 27
Do you really not think it could have been her first one too?
Nippbl 2
the thrilling thought of trusting a sexy mouth with playful teasing teeth on my **** turns me on!
Nippbl 2
>Some people like teeth... for proof google: **** Biting, Facial and Pussy Daily tumblr
Jay9860 9
That suck young buck
ACCOUNTKILLER 18
you have to be able to communicate with her about this stuff even if it might hurt her feelings. If you aren't honest about something she's doing wrong, she'll think she's doing the right thing and it won't change.
vikky538 29
Just tell her its not a dog treat
HollyQuinn 21
Your relationship is NEVER going to work if you can't talk to her about these kind of things.
schreibergx93 19
Communicate your concern. It's how you'll both get better
luna1203 3
hi spooky (sorry looking for one of my friends will delete after I find them)
pink_lightning 16
Her plot to never be expected to give a *******: success.