Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
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Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML
Today, my girlfriend was in the midst of giving me head when she got lockjaw. My dick was stuck inside her mouth as she bit down on it for over an hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
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Top comments
zarrganaut 17
Just tell her to be more careful. Laying off with the teeth isn't gonna hurt her feelings. Or at least it shouldn't.
justcommenting19 19
Why didn't you tell her how to do it right? If it's her first ******* too how is she supposed to know how to do it right?
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Comments (127)
cnbcad 15
Big mistake. Can't learn w/o some input plus how you gonna get her to swallow now??
JebMcdeber 11
This is one of the few times where I think "Wow, maybe teenagers shouldn't have sex." If you can't communicate during the act, you shouldn't be doing it.
TripleDallas123 15
Tell her how to do it, or it isn't going to ever get better.
Timber147 9
How's she ever going to learn if you don't tell her?
HellboundAlleee 4
If you're able to put each other's genitals in your mouths, you should be able to speak openly about how to do it right. Hiding in the bathroom? For shame.
Ava_Darkflame 26
Welp, communication is key, you gotta let her know that she's doing it wrong.
Untold_Tales 17
It's sweet that you tried to protect her feelings. She's very lucky to have you. But I agree with everyone else. Sex in a relationship is something to be explored together, and she will appreciate it if you told her. If you guys can get that communication open, you both will begin to feel much more comfortable and the pleasure will escalate. Best of luck to the pair of you, and I hope you guys last for ages ❤️
rgetting 24
Communicate. Why wouldn't you tell her it hurt?
acheffner96 6
You need to tell her what feels good and what doesn't. This way she'll excel in giving good head
tbangazak3 7
Skinning it?? Omg that's no Bueno. Gotta do better.. Should have jus told her though