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You should've told him you ate an apple

But you never specified how you dropped it op. Maybe you did in fact drop it out if your bum.

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You should've told him you ate an apple

Blackberry, past it's best-before date.

To the top ?

I would befriend them. Sounds like a humorous person.

No better place to make friends than a public restroom!

"My phone dammit"

But you never specified how you dropped it op. Maybe you did in fact drop it out if your bum.

"I uh... I may have swallowed my phone on accident..."

By* accident

No, #21. OP saw an accident; stood on it; and ate the phone.

You should have said "Yo MOMMA!"

Common, you're better than this...

Why would OP say that? So he can be arrested for cannibalism?

Isn't that what the cowboy said in Austin Powers....?

On the plus side, at least it wasn't something that you ate.

Austin powers anyone? Lol. I giggled :P