Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Snowball
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Timing
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Hidden
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Miscommunication
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML
Today, my girlfriend was in the midst of giving me head when she got lockjaw. My dick was stuck inside her mouth as she bit down on it for over an hour. FML
Stuff
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Top comments
zarrganaut 17
Just tell her to be more careful. Laying off with the teeth isn't gonna hurt her feelings. Or at least it shouldn't.
justcommenting19 19
Why didn't you tell her how to do it right? If it's her first ******* too how is she supposed to know how to do it right?
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Comments (127)
FalloutScrolls 25
Practice makes perfect...
stitesy29 18
Is it unacceptable to give feedback?
PuppiesKisses 19
Communicate or it'll happen again.
SuperMew 22
I would simply tell her what you like and guide her. It's like anything else in the world, you have to communicate and practice to get good at it.
neuronerd 29
That's not something girls innately know how to do. Let her know what you like, but be gentle and respectful in the way you tell her.
anyagrande 31
When i gave my bf his first bj, he told me when i used my teeth, and i didn't get mad or anything i was very glad he told me
rinzlerkitty94 31
You should let her now. There's a possibility she'll take it wrong and get offended, but on the other hand she might not.
DoomSkuller 28
Kinky
Joshawott 21
I think it might be best to actually sit down and talk to her about it, just in case she tries to peel your banana again.
Unlovable_Me 14
A little communication goes a long way