Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
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Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML
Today, my period was a few days late, so my anxiety kicked in and I told my husband I was worried about being pregnant. He pointedly said that pregnancy requires sex, and I suddenly remembered we haven't had sex in months. I haven't cheated, but good luck convincing his suspicious ass of that. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
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Top comments
golden_warrior 23
I hope you talked to her about your needs in the relationship rather than venting on fml
mangobbler 11
Hopefully her period is just late. If she is indeed pregnant, and you two haven't had sex in a year... she has some serious explaining to do. Chin up, OP. Hopefully it is just a minor scare. PS: Put some Marvin Gaye playing and fix that sexless relationship. xD
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Comments (205)
Ibeatmyself 3
Sounds like you've been living sexless for the past year
ultra_notorious 26
and you're sticking around why?
jefflukey123 4
How has it been one year without sex? You live together wouldn't you want to do it all the time?
splitintwo 6
I say leave. If she's worried about being pregnant and you don't have sex with her she's either stupid or a cheater. Not worth the time.
blackonblight 33
It's stupid, but even though I could tame a unicorn, if I'm late I always freak out. It's irrational, but I've been assured by lots of other women they do the same thing, once the logical part of the brain can kick in you're fine, but for a few minutes it's all "holy shit human parthenogenesis!"
gameover18 17
Leave her.
blairvic 23
No sex for over a year, and you live together? OP, my man, sit her down and talk to her. There could be any number of things wrong with her that cause her to not want to have sex with you. Maybe you're bad in bed Maybe she thinks she is bad in bed Maybe she has a problem with her sex drive, and needs to see a doctor Maybe she has body image problems Maybe she's just too tired or busy, and y'all need to schedule sex Maybe your relationship is just done, and you should seperate Sit down and talk. Plan this sit down, make sure you're both not busy and not distracted. Explain that you want to have sex, obviously. Ask her what's going on. Or, of course, go to a professional and get some couple's counselling. Best of luck, OP. Hope you and her work it all out.
lilmisstif 21
This happens to every girl. Even if they're virgins :P
CharresBarkrey 16
No it doesn't.
blackonblight 33
Seriously, it's like a lizard brain reaction. Once you're able to actually think you dismiss it, but the moment of panic happens to, if not all, then certainly a hell of a lot of women, many of them virgins.
Typicall 21
Uh oh
FlyingPie 17
Or the only car in the garage. Or the only plane in the hangar. Or the only seed planted in the garden. Why talk in metaphors? ;)
NandaPanda 22
I hate to be one of those pessimists, but how do you know that she isn't, and it's just YOU that she hasn't been sleeping with for the past year?
NandaPanda 22
I'm not saying that's necessarily the case, I don't know you or your gf (obviously). I'm just saying that some people's lack of morals make me question things like this.