Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML
What have you been up to?
Today, my period was a few days late, so my anxiety kicked in and I told my husband I was worried about being pregnant. He pointedly said that pregnancy requires sex, and I suddenly remembered we haven't had sex in months. I haven't cheated, but good luck convincing his suspicious ass of that. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Top comments
golden_warrior 23
I hope you talked to her about your needs in the relationship rather than venting on fml
mangobbler 11
Hopefully her period is just late. If she is indeed pregnant, and you two haven't had sex in a year... she has some serious explaining to do. Chin up, OP. Hopefully it is just a minor scare. PS: Put some Marvin Gaye playing and fix that sexless relationship. xD
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (205)
Xeserx 8
Mate, she probably is having sex. Behind your back. Js...why would she freak out? Unless she was actually the slow.
Axipiter 24
57, thank you for spelling "hangar" correctly. There aren't many capable of that.
ni0ve 9
u have bigger problems...not having sex...n the fact she got preggo scared cuz she cheated
elly94 23
Congratulations on making the one year anniversary of no sex and no kids.. Guess there is some silver linings, unless you wanted kids.. Then I am sorry all together.. Stay strong !!
Inked0803 12
Obviously you're not the father
Dame84 6
Wow, that's a rarity but great point, oh, and I hope you to begin having intimacy
sammichgirl 5
Is she having sex with somebody else?
wanderingalice 1
don't worry, everything will not be okay.
ratrods 1
She is worried because she is cheating dumb ass!
Frankynat0r 5
I don't want to be rude, but if she does rarely act blonde she might have not been sexless for one year.