Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML
Today, my period was a few days late, so my anxiety kicked in and I told my husband I was worried about being pregnant. He pointedly said that pregnancy requires sex, and I suddenly remembered we haven't had sex in months. I haven't cheated, but good luck convincing his suspicious ass of that. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
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Top comments
golden_warrior 23
I hope you talked to her about your needs in the relationship rather than venting on fml
mangobbler 11
Hopefully her period is just late. If she is indeed pregnant, and you two haven't had sex in a year... she has some serious explaining to do. Chin up, OP. Hopefully it is just a minor scare. PS: Put some Marvin Gaye playing and fix that sexless relationship. xD
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Comments (205)
kaitb1103 23
...or maybe a news flash that she might have been cheating on you?
worldclassrager 39
Well if she is having an affair I hope you can fix her pleasures so it drops...or leave her...
tehdarkness 21
Time to get out of the relationship if there is no passion!
askingandy 23
Or, you know, maybe they're just two people that think sex should mean something and shouldn't be done with just anyone. This site isn't just used by adults.
finalyearsofhate 22
I hope to god they're adults.. They live together..
askingandy 23
Oops, overlooked that detail. But point still stands that not everyone has sex before marriage.
addioty 19
Maybe the girl is religious or wants to wait until marriage. Nothing wrong with that.
imaCONartist 15
I'm surprised there's no innkeeper jokes yet.. oh well.
hannahsnyder69 16
Sincere apology to both of you for living sexless for a year. Brutal world
my2centsworth 15
Perhaps only one of you isn't having sex...
askingandy 23
They may not have had actual sex, but there are other ways to get pregnant... Assuming they've "fooled around", sperm anywhere around the area could result in pregnancy. So maybe she hasn't cheated?
Poetaster 10
Ha!! Hey, i have some beach front property in colorado you would love!!
CharresBarkrey 15
Spoken like a true virgin
love_me_electric 20
88/118 - Let me guess, you guys also think pulling out is a legitimate form of contraception? Splash pregnancies are rare, but they're very real. You're an idiot if you think there has to be penetration for someone to get pregnant.
The_Orphan 3
Sounds like YOU have been sexless for a year. Maybe she hasn't been.
Neesalun 20
Or she's cheating :(
SasquatchDeluxe 10
FYL - and find someone new so you can FYG instead.