Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML
By Fitz - /
Sunday 12 April 2009 13:53 /
United States
blackonblight
miss
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32 Badges
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1111 Comments
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1961 Visits
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31 Favorites
Not much to say, diagnosed Aspergers Syndrome, depression, anxiety, social phobia, I'm a walking stereotype of the crazy girl who always has a book, almost never talks, and spends the day locked in her room with her cats.
Also cluster headaches.
Apparently evolution really doesn't want me reproducing.
That's fine, I'm asexual. Aromantic too. Still got the capacity for aesthetic appreciation, and I do melt over certain voices. I just have no desire to press my squishy bits against another's, nor do I feel like I need a significant other to be complete. I understand that it appeals to others, and that is fine. It is not for me.
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Supersize Menu
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know. -
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern. -
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator. -
Work is a 4-letter word
Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic. -
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile. -
Tell us what happened next
You've commented on an FML that you sent in -
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about. -
The thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments. -
Happy ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.” -
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date. -
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date. -
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it. -
I'm an early bird, but no worm yet
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m. -
Night owl
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m. -
Santa Claus
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done! -
The Mixer
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you. -
Back from the party
An FML submitted between 5 and 6 a.m. can't be very good. -
Socialite
You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see… -
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done! -
Profile completed
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It's in the can!
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten! -
100 kick-ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name! -
A new thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments. -
50 quality comments
Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier. -
One ring to rule them all
You submitted an FML, that was subsequently published, and statistically this makes you an exceptional person. -
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit. -
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start. -
Judgmental
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times. -
I agree, my mouse works.
200 "I agree" votes is a good start. -
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature. -
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter. -
YDI Master
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote. -
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky. -
42
See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon. -
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic. -
Tweet, tweet
You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why. -
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date. -
My diary is a collector's item
There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one. -
I liked to the power of 20
You've liked 20 FMLs, and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs you liked. -
Picture this FML
You left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article. -
The return of the thumb
You have thumbed 5000 comments. -
50 favorites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
By 404: Sanity Not Found - /
Wednesday 27 January 2016 15:35 /
United Kingdom
By blackonblight /
Wednesday 11 November 2015 11:23 /
United States - Dover
By not my bf anymore /
Thursday 5 November 2015 21:15 /
United States
By Anonymous - /
Saturday 27 June 2015 18:56 /
United States - Pittsburgh