Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML
Today, my period was a few days late, so my anxiety kicked in and I told my husband I was worried about being pregnant. He pointedly said that pregnancy requires sex, and I suddenly remembered we haven't had sex in months. I haven't cheated, but good luck convincing his suspicious ass of that. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
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Top comments
golden_warrior 23
I hope you talked to her about your needs in the relationship rather than venting on fml
mangobbler 11
Hopefully her period is just late. If she is indeed pregnant, and you two haven't had sex in a year... she has some serious explaining to do. Chin up, OP. Hopefully it is just a minor scare. PS: Put some Marvin Gaye playing and fix that sexless relationship. xD
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Comments (205)
RoboCunnilingus 23
Plot twist: She actually is pregnant and you ARE the father.
s0m3guy2010 21
Even bigger plot twist: The girlfriend isn't the mother.
Madster15 14
even bigger plot twist. you are the baby.
rachelllynne 8
i totally read that in Maury's voice.
ApollosMyth 22
Sounds like he isn't even in the stable yet, he's still standing outside the door.
Teddzz 19
Whoa. That ignorant?
Dodge4x4Ram 46
dump her,, like yesterday
perdix 31
Of course she can't, that would be cheating on her other boyfriend. You're the "boyfriend who buys her stuff."
ChevieB 1
Sounds like you've been sexless. Her on the other hand...
nitrog100 21
If this is bothering you, then you should probably break up with her. Perpetuating unhappiness is not a testament to the strength of your relationship.
Daiyuki 5
Because every time something bothers you in a relationship, you should end it. Sound advice.
Ashley868 10
In this case they should break up. She is obviously cheating.
ohsnapcrackers 6
if they have been sexless for a year and that bothers him but they don't have the communication in their relationship to discuss/ change that, then maybe it is time to end it.
jem970 19
And then on the other hand what if she doesn't want to have sex with him? Should he stay in that relationship? Sex is a big deal to some people when they are in a relationship and OP could be one of those men. There is not anything wrong with it. Also the gf sounds like cheater through and through but maybe she is just stupid.
KawaiiCupcake 14
I'm proud of your gf for nit giving to pressure. Not every relationship has to have sex in it.
challan 19
Sounds like a fantastic relationship. Not! Three days, too long. Three weeks, horrible.Three months, unforgivable. A year? Don't let the door hit you on your pregnant ass.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
who are these people who vote Down,, that was the truth
truepanda 2
THIS NEEDS A FOLLOW UP.
olpally 33
I smell a cheater... Hmmm any takers??? Ill put $100 bucks down. Sexless for over a year?? What?