Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML
What have you been up to?
Today, my period was a few days late, so my anxiety kicked in and I told my husband I was worried about being pregnant. He pointedly said that pregnancy requires sex, and I suddenly remembered we haven't had sex in months. I haven't cheated, but good luck convincing his suspicious ass of that. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Top comments
golden_warrior 23
I hope you talked to her about your needs in the relationship rather than venting on fml
mangobbler 11
Hopefully her period is just late. If she is indeed pregnant, and you two haven't had sex in a year... she has some serious explaining to do. Chin up, OP. Hopefully it is just a minor scare. PS: Put some Marvin Gaye playing and fix that sexless relationship. xD
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Comments (205)
jennycoral 12
If she freaked out maybe she's having sex, just not with you...
figgypies 4
so she's either cheating or really stupid. lucky you.
aligater10 7
I thought everyone was educated in this fact
Poetaster 10
Um... She can still get pregnant. Just not from you perhaps?
reymon8823 24
Sucks to be you but maybe she's guttering it else where
FuKcMee 32
buddy take the hint you're sexless cause she's ******* someone else.. which is why worried she might be preggers its kinda a busted when your gf is preg and youre not gettin any
ebing15 1
I decided whether your girlfriend stupid or a *****
BabyrooKid 11
I'm not sure I've ever thought somebody's life sucked on here more than yours, dude.
thatgirlincali 13
girl code can explain this lol. If she really isn't pregnant but if she is.. Then she has some explaining to do.
brandoneyez1 25
She's either stupid or cheating... Neither of are good.... Lol
Poetaster 10
She is both