By fuck - 21/04/2012 02:48 - United States - Lawrenceville

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 904
You deserved it 4 074

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Time to fight fire with fire!! In the end he will respect you more!


shanemaximo 7

This is the only time camping would be acceptable.

It's paintball. Camping is never acceptable because it's way to easy to get overrun.

As soon as you see him just spray him. Go noob status on him, whatever it takes to win.

olpally 32

*cartman's voice* respect my authority!! Nice username btw... **** is right...

22- Did you just edit your own comment, what is this sorcery???

olpally 32

Very good... Want a cookie???

boxbrandon11 20

Bring a riot shield next time

Should've across the map 360 no scoped him for the final kill. That would've been epic.

if you start Reading at line 3 the fml is far more interesting.

19 - What if it was a game of capture the flag/defend the base? You want the defenders to leave it completely undefended for fear of being labeled a camper?

82 - I never considered that really. I guess I'm just used to the normal one-hit-and-you're-out games. In that case, you would be right here.

Being defensive in a defensive game type works when you play one-hit-kill rules too... Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with having a few players do a counter attack but honestly, if you're not properly defending an objective because you're worried about video game "insults", you're not playing properly.

AceArctic 4

75- I like the way you think!

It caused a scene alright. In my head. In the wild. It was a very dramatic scene, involving a lot of theme music and such

Time to fight fire with fire!! In the end he will respect you more!

I kinda agree with 2 on this one because a girl's father likes a boy that is strong and is willing to stand up for one's self (especially to someone who is/used to be in the arm forces because it shows aggression and courage).

Just dont set up in a tree. Pride come before the fall.

Break out the Call of Duty skills on his ass. Unleash Marksman and QuickDraw pro, with some Last Stand just in case. Aim for the head. Or the balls. Whichever one you prefer.

Someone plays just a little too much call of duty.

KiddNYC1O 20

A simple Semtex would save you all that trouble.

If this guys that good, OP may need hardline pro.

36- Actually they obviously don't play it enough. Marksman and last stand are not in the same game. I'm sure he meant to say final stand.

Gah, you caught me. I'll now go play CoD 1 through 7 (8?) and learn the terms correctly so as to avoid future mix ups.

siickman 7

Its funny because if you wer to play paintball... COD skills wont really help... You will catch yourself not wanting to move from A bunker.... I see it every weekend when a noob on my team goes "oh yea im just going to do a call of duty and rush them.. Hopefully it doesnt lag".... Im just like okay and watch them stay far away and get out first :p

I read this as "pinball" at first so I was like "you're complaining about pinball?!" lol

He's complaining about paintball, which is even worse

Not really. Paintball is a LOT more painful than pinball.

I dont know Ive been in some pretty intense pinball games.

"That deaf, dumb, and blind kid SURE PLAYS A MEAN PIN-BALL!"

nofearjenshere 12

Fire back OP! Remember, aim low..

That's a little dirty, guys have an unspoken rule about this. Head shots would probably be better.

Yeah it's like part of being a guy is signing a pledge that says "I promise not to hit another guy in the nuts"

At least he didnt shoot your balls. Next time take adequete cover and keep watching

PrincessesCrown 17

How do you know he didnt shoot his balls? If I was pissed at someone I sure as hell would aim there!

PrincessesCrown 17

Love the quote. Wrong time to use it!

Should of "accidentally" confused his face as a tree you were using to practice aim.

Just be thankful that wasn't a real gun..

FloTimmyKO 0

He shot you with a paintball gun. So what, your still with his daughter, and he still has to deal with it.=] just remember when your in bed that you get the last laugh.

"Pump as many rounds into me without making a scene'" I say use the same tactic. Bang the shit out of his daughter when he's home! XD what, that isn't a normal retaliation?

FloTimmyKO 0

I would have to say, "Pump as many rounds into her, and MAKE a scene!" Let him know that some paintballs aren't gonna stop you.

Brownie points with your gf make use of them. xD