Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML
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Top comments
loufol22 5
Did you shoot back at least??
zandalee 20
Time to fight fire with fire!! In the end he will respect you more!
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Comments (142)
THE_A_TEEN 28
You're kidding, right? OP is just some regular guy, and he's going against a MARINE. You know, the ones with experience, trained for warfare, possibly has experience war before. It isn't the fact that OP is a crybaby who is whining (That is basically the point of this site), but the fact that he is in a situation where the odds are on favor of a trained killing machine. Would you want to be in a paintball fight with a Marine?
maxamus951852 3
OP it sounds like u need to man up and beat him as his own game.. my Dad was in the Navy, my brother is in the Army, and if ive learned anything from them its that the military makes u competitive, if you show good sport, dont bitch, and go down trying atleast he wont think ur a pussy.. but if u man up and wreck his ass in paintball then he might be mad for a little while but you will have earned his respect on the inside.. good luck OP!
alycion 39
I still have scars from tournament paintball. So it can be pretty painful ;)
mrcreepy 1
Seriously.. Man up!!
license2chill 5
Fight back like a man, maybe he will like you.
kcal405 0
Sounds like taking a chicken to KFC :/ which is not good.
japtch 15
38: I don't know if you've ever been paintballing, but I like to get EVERY person every chance I get.
linkinpark98 24
Well, fight back like a man! Your father in law wouldn't really think better of you if all you did was hide in the corner the whole time.
tombhatti 1
Guess should pump as rounds you can in her. Basically he's giving you motivation so game on son!!
HahaYDI 0
Now you know how the Taliban feels!