Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML
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Top comments
loufol22 5
Did you shoot back at least??
zandalee 20
Time to fight fire with fire!! In the end he will respect you more!
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Comments (142)
Lionesse 15
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger :p
Zomg_Okay 27
No, I don't think an amputation would make me stronger... or any of a dozen other examples of non-fatal incidents I could think of.
Lionesse 15
Hm. Sucks for you. Because I've seen people go through some crazy shit, yet they come out stronger than ever because they believed they could. They didn't allow their circumstances to define them. You probably do.
Zomg_Okay 27
Nah, you're talking mentally stronger. I mean physically stronger. Losing an arm would not make you physically stronger.
Lionesse 15
Well I suppose. But even so, I've seen amputees kick ass at things that people with all limbs intact can't do or excel in. So I still hold true to my comment. What doesn't kill you can only make you stronger. Take it as you please :)
bubo_fml 11
"This is my rifle, this is my gun; this is for fighting, this is for fun!"
license2chill 5
To be honest, I'd love that, going to a paintball game with an ex marine, that would be awesome. I love paintball, just make sure wear a vest or some kind to protect the torso, if you are going up against a marine.. You are bound to get a shot, a lot
poolee0827 1
Once a Marine always a Marine... Lol
grannygruber 6
The way he's crying about it I wouldn't be surprised!
PedroRValentin 3
Damnnnnn nigga..
SLRfan 4
FYL, Why does he hate you?
blackblade 3
I love paint ball one of the funest things I have done but u should go get a really good gun and unleash on his ass
laden_swallow09 35
MOST dads are like that… but Marine dads have it the worst if you're the guy going after his little girl.
xzxification 2
Can't spell 'paintball' without 'pain'!