Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML
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Top comments
loufol22 5
Did you shoot back at least??
zandalee 20
Time to fight fire with fire!! In the end he will respect you more!
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Comments (142)
Anubis_81 21
Kick the unholy f*** in the nuts.
cmyk 19
ALL dads are like that. Especially when it's the youngest daughter. Then it' game on!
williamcarter93 13
I wonder why a lot of people are saying that the dad is just making sure his daughter doesn't end up with a wimp by shooting the **** out of his ass with paintballs. Fighting a paintball game is a lot different than having to defend your family with real, deadly force if and when the need arises. Hell, at the rate the dad is going, the girl might never have anyone.
tyedyegoddess 0
While it's unfortunate, the more of that kind of stuff a guy goes through to date a girl, the closer he gets to "That boy's alright" in her Dad's eyes. Just don't bitch about it. Take it like a man.
dellis96 0
Being an ex-marine doesnt help you in paintball very much, the movement and tactics used in paintball are far different from real war, and the guns behave totally different. Ive been playing paintball for 5 years.
Skittles_Rawr 8
Fire back!
blueknight1st 26
There is no such thing as a "former Marine". Once a Marine, always a Marine.
iceman8942 0
Hahaha oorah marine corp
aileen15 15
what a jerk paintballs kill that's not fair sorry OP :(
Zomg_Okay 27
What kind of ****** up game of paintball are you playing that the paintballs are lethal..?
hateevryone 15
Shoot his ass back.