By Anonymous - 02/03/2013 18:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML
I agree, your life sucks 43 660
You deserved it 3 397

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Shoot him in his steroid-shrunken balls.

That was an EXTREME amount of adjectives.


That was an EXTREME amount of adjectives.

I think pleogasm is more accurate considering he likely considers this fml an eyegasm. Hehe.

I love the anger in this one, so vivid.

^I agree with you. I had a movie scene all played out,in my head, while reading the FML post.

Pleonasm where the heck are you!? You've been summoned!

Eliseopwns 22

He shoulda just knifed instead. Either way, FYL. Sorry man.

its only legal if he yells WA POW


Or "Roadhouse".

Or "Take a seat BITCH!"

I kept thinking of that joke "it's not rape if you say surprise" as I was reading these.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
BradTheBrony 19

Or "myparentsareDEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!" in a really deep, rough voice.

Bubbelz 25

Or "Trustfall!".

116-I got the reference. THIS ISN'T A CAAAARRR!!

Shoot him in his steroid-shrunken balls.

He wouldn't have balls to shoot at anyway!

Why does he even carry a gun if he isn't going to shoot it?

Maybe he broke OP's shoulder first and then shot him?

Eliseopwns 22

Unless you're playing the "pro" type of paintball (speedball) shooting at close range is highly discouraged. You're supposed to make your opponent surrender at close range.

You can also bunker if you're playing advanced.

#8 those are the side effects of taking steriods. If you take steriods you cant use your 'Gun'.

Exactly what I was thinking. Sue that bastard.

Make him pay for the medical bills. Shit's expensive.

He's from the UK :) we have the NHS here, so it's free

Manure is actually pretty cheap.

Devilpuppy0861 7

Yay 35, now he can wait 6 months to be treated. God bless socialized medicine, us plebeians are to dimwitted to take care of ourselves without big brother to tell us what to do.

@95 If I understand you correctly, yes, a lot of people are to dumb to take care of themselves.

Yes god bless socialized medicine. It saves lives and when you are in possibly the worst situation of your life you don't need to choose between bankruptcy or your child's life. If I cut off my finger I wouldn't have to pony up thousands of dollars to have it reattached how awful! Who would want that! *eyeroll*

Whatever man I'm just fuckin glad we have the NHS! Knowing that money won't get in the way of your family's health -possible saving them in a life or death situation- is deffinately a good thing :)

fishstick557 14

Sue him that isn't cool and it isn't right

Why is it that every single FML seems to have at least one person suggesting a lawsuit? I'm not saying it isn't justified in some cases, but lawsuits don't magically solve everything.

Axel5238 29

Agreed, people are lawsuit happy, but this is one circumstance where it would be justified.

fishstick557 14

Okay just let some guys dad get away with breaking your shoulder it's totally fine dude

26- I agree that people always say to sue someone. They usually tell the op to sue and it is for the most ridiculous reason. In this case, I think that if op sued then it would be justified.

Well, Americans are lawsuit happy I'd say. Still I know if it was me who was injured by this I would follow up with criminal charges, I wouldn't care it was my 'friend's' father.

Choke slamming works well for pro wrestlers

KareBear7364 5

should have shot him in the balls.