Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML
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Top comments
By
PenguinBitch
| 43
Shoot him in his steroid-shrunken balls.
By
jkmartinjk
| 16
That was an EXTREME amount of adjectives.
COMMENTS
By
jkmartinjk
| 16
That was an EXTREME amount of adjectives.
Reply
chanellgymnast
| 17
Lol at "fucknut"
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Nekogami
| 14
I think pleogasm is more accurate considering he likely considers this fml an eyegasm. Hehe.
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EsotericBrent
| 29
I love the anger in this one, so vivid.
Reply
AKGirlinSD
| 20
^I agree with you. I had a movie scene all played out,in my head, while reading the FML post.
Reply
TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
Pleonasm where the heck are you!? You've been summoned!
By
Eliseopwns
| 22
He shoulda just knifed instead. Either way, FYL. Sorry man.
By
Reaper1984
| 13
its only legal if he yells WA POW
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picante72
| 24
Or "CLOTHESLINE!!"
Reply
Axipiter
| 24
Or "Roadhouse".
Reply
JakeyRage
| 5
Or "Take a seat BITCH!"
Reply
MrPlopper
| 9
I kept thinking of that joke "it's not rape if you say surprise" as I was reading these.
Reply
hipsterhunter
| 9
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
vocaloidtiger
| 12
77 - No.
Reply
BradTheBrony
| 19
Or "myparentsareDEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!" in a really deep, rough voice.
Reply
Bubbelz
| 24
Or "Trustfall!".
Reply
picante72
| 24
116-I got the reference. THIS ISN'T A CAAAARRR!!
By
PenguinBitch
| 43
Shoot him in his steroid-shrunken balls.
Reply
WingedLovely27
| 20
He wouldn't have balls to shoot at anyway!
By
picante72
| 24
Why does he even carry a gun if he isn't going to shoot it?
Reply
Isoldael
| 27
Maybe he broke OP's shoulder first and then shot him?
Reply
Eliseopwns
| 22
Unless you're playing the "pro" type of paintball (speedball) shooting at close range is highly discouraged. You're supposed to make your opponent surrender at close range.
Reply
Catkam623
| 27
You can also bunker if you're playing advanced.
Reply
lambda_fml
| 40
#8 those are the side effects of taking steriods. If you take steriods you cant use your 'Gun'.
By
teddy4nyy
| 13
Exactly what I was thinking. Sue that bastard.
By
BeccaHugs
| 17
Make him pay for the medical bills. Shit's expensive.
Reply
Pretty_reckless_fml
| 18
He's from the UK :) we have the NHS here, so it's free
Reply
gc327072
| 29
Manure is actually pretty cheap.
Reply
Devilpuppy0861
| 7
Yay 35, now he can wait 6 months to be treated. God bless socialized medicine, us plebeians are to dimwitted to take care of ourselves without big brother to tell us what to do.
Reply
Fsvb
| 32
@95 If I understand you correctly, yes, a lot of people are to dumb to take care of themselves.
Reply
little_one
| 20
Yes god bless socialized medicine. It saves lives and when you are in possibly the worst situation of your life you don't need to choose between bankruptcy or your child's life.
If I cut off my finger I wouldn't have to pony up thousands of dollars to have it reattached how awful! Who would want that! *eyeroll*
If I cut off my finger I wouldn't have to pony up thousands of dollars to have it reattached how awful! Who would want that! *eyeroll*
Reply
Pretty_reckless_fml
| 18
Whatever man I'm just fuckin glad we have the NHS! Knowing that money won't get in the way of your family's health -possible saving them in a life or death situation- is deffinately a good thing :)
Reply
Pretty_reckless_fml
| 18
*possibly
By
fishstick557
| 14
Sue him that isn't cool and it isn't right
Reply
SomeRandomGuy15
| 18
Why is it that every single FML seems to have at least one person suggesting a lawsuit? I'm not saying it isn't justified in some cases, but lawsuits don't magically solve everything.
Reply
Axel5238
| 29
Agreed, people are lawsuit happy, but this is one circumstance where it would be justified.
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fishstick557
| 14
Okay just let some guys dad get away with breaking your shoulder it's totally fine dude
Reply
SillyGirl4602
| 23
26- I agree that people always say to sue someone. They usually tell the op to sue and it is for the most ridiculous reason. In this case, I think that if op sued then it would be justified.
Reply
exodeus
| 7
Well, Americans are lawsuit happy I'd say. Still I know if it was me who was injured by this I would follow up with criminal charges, I wouldn't care it was my 'friend's' father.
By
noelasis94
| 18
Choke slamming works well for pro wrestlers
By
KareBear7364
| 5
should have shot him in the balls.