Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she can't treat me like the way I treat her. She said, "because you love me more than I love you." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked what I was doing. I replied, "What I'm always doing." She couldn't think of anything besides eating. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I wouldn't make my senior quote, "I love my girlfriend more than anything." FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me if I loved her. I tried to be cute and romantic and responded with a quote from the Notebook, which I watched with her yesterday. After I said, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird," she broke up with me because I was "phony and unoriginal." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me not to love her so much, so she doesn't have to try so hard to match my love for her. What the fuck? FML
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Top comments
Hollywoodgirl79 18
Although bacon is amazing and a direct gift from the gods, I think it's okay to lie and say that you don't love anything more than her in this instance
thatonegirlnic 10
Don't go bacon my heart
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Comments (201)
tman1985 9
"have you accepted Bacon as your lunch and supper?
superrice 8
Why can't some girls take a joke?
abiles 1
My boyfriend would say this and I would not get mad I'd laugh about it because bacon is always the answer !!!
liaRawr 9
She needs a sense of humour
Goblin182 27
Then she shouldn't ask the question.
KingreX32 21
you are not wrong.
xxsakuraxx 29
Damn she needs to get over herself and learn to take a joke. Even if its not a joke its not like you are going to leave her for some bacon. Until now lol.
sarahbevan20 11
Ha! I laughed out loud. "**** you [insert girlfriend's name here], I'm leaving you!" *proceeds to passionately make out with bacon*
m0nst3rl0v3r 4
Well now you can spend more time having sex with the bacon
saintdroper 9
Bruh that was obviously a trap
hplover7 11
Well she ASKED.... I hate when people play stupid "you can't win" games like that... I think bacon is a great answer, and she should get a better sense of humor!