Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she can't treat me like the way I treat her. She said, "because you love me more than I love you." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked what I was doing. I replied, "What I'm always doing." She couldn't think of anything besides eating. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I wouldn't make my senior quote, "I love my girlfriend more than anything." FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me if I loved her. I tried to be cute and romantic and responded with a quote from the Notebook, which I watched with her yesterday. After I said, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird," she broke up with me because I was "phony and unoriginal." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me not to love her so much, so she doesn't have to try so hard to match my love for her. What the fuck? FML
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Top comments
Hollywoodgirl79 18
Although bacon is amazing and a direct gift from the gods, I think it's okay to lie and say that you don't love anything more than her in this instance
thatonegirlnic 10
Don't go bacon my heart
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Comments (201)
lil_mars 1
KAhaha ah damn, bro. That was definitely a trap. She was probably looking for, "Nothing, baby. I could never love anything more than you." or something of that sort. I know, we (girls) can be ridiculous. We fish for compliments in subtle, sneaky, sometimes stupid ways. It sucks, I'm sorry.
anyoldnamewilldo 23
I can't blame you. I have had many people let me down but can honestly say that bacon has never,ever disappointed me.
ericm87 3
Legitimate answer
hockey7468 7
What flippin fatass loves bacon more than his girl. I love my girl and I would die for her it hurts to think there are some people who will toss girls to the side like there trash
steffidallasbfl 16
Looks like someone can't take a joke. FYL
Natashazie 12
Maybe she was expecting you to say your future kids? You might not know
XxF_MY_LIFExX 12
If I was your girlfriend, I would have loved you even more for saying bacon and eggs.
sarahbevan20 11
Stupid bitch needs to learn how to take a joke, not like that was a good example of a joke.
heart_broken 4
I would've laughed. If my boyfriend is gonna love anything more than me bacon is a good answer.
tcarroll13 2
Bacon is patient. Bacon is kind. Bacon is never jealous or vengeful. Bacon never cheated on me with 3 different guys. Choose Bacon my friends.