Sex, Farts and Intimacy: It's getting hot in here

It's getting hot in here

By cold-n-stinky - 12/01/2010 06:30 - United States

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said, "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 159

You deserved it 9 504

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Love is…

By gassygirlfriend - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Nampa

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 371

You deserved it 5 275

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 928

You deserved it 6 528

By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 455

You deserved it 809

By yoked - 18/12/2009 03:48 - United States

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 193

You deserved it 4 640

By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 732

You deserved it 36 359

By hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 611

You deserved it 393

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 113

You deserved it 41 514

Love is…

By Anonymous - 29/07/2012 04:25 - Denmark - Frederiksberg

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 313

You deserved it 3 886

Filth

By roughsexgonewrong - 05/11/2013 18:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying, "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 251

You deserved it 11 624

By steve-o - 14/02/2019 15:46 - United States

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 915

You deserved it 4 195

scheme 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:16

owned

Craig92EIRE 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:32

at least you're warm:)

Comments

alexwilliamson 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:15

Yeah, **** your life.

Justforlolz 14

Thursday 15 July 2010 21:15

That wuz pretty dam funny. Lolz and least your warm.

Fmyspam 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 23:18

Or **** your wife.

dylly17 4

Tuesday 27 December 2011 4:20

This isn't an FML. Don't take it so seriously :P Your wife was just joking around!

gearsawar2 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:15

first

Spac3Ghost 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 15:02

fail =()

robosonic 2

Sunday 1 August 2010 10:44

WTF is a threadjack anyway?

CrazyDutch 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 7:35

wow... you must be scared for life

crymore007 11

Saturday 6 August 2011 2:40

yeah 106 I'd be pretty frightened too

crymore007 11

Saturday 6 August 2011 2:40

yeah 106 I'd be pretty frightened too

scheme 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:16

owned

fireflames113 6

Friday 8 April 2011 5:05

very much so

Jesta05 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:19

YDI for using sucha cheesy line

memcp 0

Sunday 6 February 2011 8:11

Agreed! (;

PinkGirl246 8

Saturday 9 February 2013 20:21

I think it's a great line(: very romantic... Until the fart fest..

helloimkellay 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:26

thats disgusting.

ShannyAK 16

Tuesday 3 July 2012 23:20

Everyone farts

PinkGirl246 8

Saturday 9 February 2013 20:23

Its natural! If my boyfriend did that I'd laugh so hard!

dc120994 11

Saturday 18 April 2015 2:48

that's called true love

Craig92EIRE 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:32

at least you're warm:)

shoieb9 14

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:37

Was about to say that :D

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Sunday 9 January 2011 7:51

warm and smelly.

itouchguy360 3

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:47

So your wife has a sick sense of humor? Not really an fml.

SliceNthrice 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 13:07

Your fml gave me a boner. That's one H O T wife.

teenager34 0

Wednesday 14 April 2010 1:42

lmao

maddieguinn 0

Monday 19 April 2010 0:32

hahhahahahahah wtf

me5 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 13:10

Times are a-changing! 

Skullcrusher 5

Tuesday 12 January 2010 13:37

#2 - You wish!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Management Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 135

Today, I went to the airport to pick up my long-distance boyfriend. Having waited six months for this, I was stoked. After waiting for three hours and sending numerous messages, I was eventually informed I was a week early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 823

You deserved it 14 281

The Top

Today, after years of restless sleep in a noisy city, I finally moved to a very quiet place. So quiet that I realized I have tinnitus. I need to play background noise to cover it, so I can manage to get some sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 102

Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. I'm a 22 year old guy and have to schedule a colonoscopy for next week. I guess there's a first time for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 125

You deserved it 3 430

Today, my fiancé told me, that after 7 years together, he is no longer in love with me. Shocked and appalled, I ask him if he has anything else to add. "Happy Birthday". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 986

You deserved it 2 098

Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 529

You deserved it 37 008

Today, according to my doctors, the car crash I was in has damaged the part of my brain responsible for balance and coordination, which is why no matter if I'm standing, sitting, or lying down, I feel dizzy as fuck. Unless by some miracle my brain can fix itself, this might be a lifelong condition. I want to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 467

You deserved it 68

Today, I had a near-death experience. Went to print a document and a lizard shot out of the printer right out at me. Gives a whole new meaning to a Canon printer, a fricking lizard Canon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 579

You deserved it 596

It's getting hot in here

Same thing different taste

Love is…

The language of love

Love is…

Filth

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