Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Back in fashion (Oppenheimer dolls not so much)
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
****** addict
Today, my husband and I caught our 12-year-old son "experimenting" with a 5-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse. He even made sure to rip Mickey's pants off. FML
Today, my 4-year-old son discovered that he really likes masturbating. So much in fact, that he took pictures of it with my phone. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, I found my 5-year-old son prancing around in high heels and cat ears, wearing a thong as a necklace, and waving a riding crop around like a sword. He'd found the box where granny keeps her special outfits that make granddad extra happy on Friday nights. FML
Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML
Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML
Top comments
a_girl_i_know 0
today's kids know a lot more stuff now than when we were kids, I wouldn't be surprised if he learned it at school.
memo619 0
I think it was the fathers influence
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Comments (165)
ovechkinisbeast 9
pedo much?
IdontWanna69 8
Hey at least your son has a possible future... as a **** star. ;)
Mitch_Connor 11
Like father, like son apparently.
fistnazal 10
the hundreds is where it's at!
Mitch_Connor 11
I'd rather be at The Hundreds. Good to know I'm not the only one representing.
vbmg152 19
Ha ha!!
melancholyangel 0
Hit the nail right on the head. I'm in the social work field and this is a huge red flag in my opinion.
Sinkhole 26
I'm pretty sure #45 was just joking.
vbmg152 19
People that dress as stuffed animals to have sex! sorry you asked?
Bedul 0
Isn't that sweet?
ROFLBERRYPIE 0
The kid's stuffed animals get more action than you do, OP!
varkey 7
WTF? How does he even know what sex is, or at least what it looks like?? He's 5! There is no way this could have happened with good parenting, I mean he's freaking 5 years old. So YDI.