Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, my husband and I caught our 12-year-old son "experimenting" with a 5-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse. He even made sure to rip Mickey's pants off. FML
Today, my 4-year-old son discovered that he really likes masturbating. So much in fact, that he took pictures of it with my phone. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, I found my 5-year-old son prancing around in high heels and cat ears, wearing a thong as a necklace, and waving a riding crop around like a sword. He'd found the box where granny keeps her special outfits that make granddad extra happy on Friday nights. FML
Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML
Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML
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Top comments
a_girl_i_know 0
today's kids know a lot more stuff now than when we were kids, I wouldn't be surprised if he learned it at school.
memo619 0
I think it was the fathers influence
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Comments (165)
overcat123 0
0.o
guppy40000 0
monkey see monkey do
Decodedman 1
Next time, before you sit him in front of his favorite show and leave, why not actually stay and see what happens on "Furry Family Fap Time"?
RedPillSucks 33
Unlike peewee's funhouse.
heathersmorin 0
Wow!! What has your son been seeing? that's not the best patenting! What's he gonna do at school?!
Bonta_kun_fml 2
Patenting? ****, NOW I HAVE TO ACTUALLY PATENT A CHILD? SHIT!
sappy0 5
Yeah, you can get them at Walmart in the stuffed toy aisle. Happy patenting! ;)
oooKiLLaHooo 0
so do I have to pay if I wanna name my son the same or what?
Emileerzz 1
you have stuffed animals that you keep around the house.?
heathersmorin 0
Wow!! What has your son been seeing?? Thats some great parenting your doing!! What's he going to do at school?!
squeaker07 15
It's kinda ironic that he's too young to even know about sex yet you're too old to even have stuffed animals. Umm honey I think you and him need to trade lol.
cheerchika 0
lol why do u still have stuff animals?? do u use them for pleasure lol
lolwutdino 9
It could have been a collection OP has when he/she was younger?
rasta_pasta 4
That doesn't make it any less weird.
Sinkhole 26
How do stuffed animal's massive orgies look like? Just a pile of stuffed animals? Don't sweat over it, he probably doesn't see them as being in sex positions, it's more likely that it's just you and your dirty mind, OP.
Gr1mr3ap3r 4
It's probably that! OP has a dirty mind!