By scot - 02/09/2012 15:38 - United States - Granby

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 234
You deserved it 13 948

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Top comments

That's such a turnoff.

tjsc831 0

Pretend to shit or lose your dick? Think u made a good choice


That's such a turnoff.

Well maybe op's girlfriend is into that type of stuff

Naomimi_fml 6

I agree with 1- I need a man with a properly functioning colon. gets me going.

What's with all the posts about havin sex when family's around?! Is that what gets people goin these days???

It's provocative... Where is Squeaky?!

Why would you have sex in the house with her father around? I dont think that is ever Ok

sidewaysponytail 0

Sound like he's got himself in a shitty Ok:(

Marcella1016 31

Is no one else wondering whether they dropped things into the toilet to make little "plop" sounds for added effect?

^OBVIOUSLY not. He is supposed to be constipated! Haha

Actually 26 it can create the thrill of getting caught. Which if you have ever been in the situation can be a hugeeee turn on

His sexual experience has been... Backed up? Zing.

Inheritance 10

DocBastard could give us some intake on this situation. But YDI OP

I don't think anyone understood what I was getting at when I asked where squeaky was.... I'm referring to the FML were me, squeaky, and other FMLers had wrote the lyrics to "Niggas in Paris". As everyone who commented before me wrote something along the lines of "gets them people goin". Just wanted to clear that up.

91- I'm just going to assume some were confused as it was kind of random.... Oh well just forget it, I'm an idiot anywaysss

26- it's not that it gets people going (but in todays society I wouldn't doubt it). But there are situations that warrant/deem/require/ask for/ beg to be used to get your groove thing on regardless of who is there. I bet YOUR parents did it too. Ba zing

79- It's not thumbed down because we don't get it. It's thumbed down because it's not funny.

barcobabe 0

Well that killed the mood

Unless she likes that kind of stuff

But this is the smartest solution I've heard of to not getting caught. It was stupid to do it with family around in the first place, but kudos for getting pulling it off without being banned from her house.

MrSnoopyJ 1

Well that must have been shitty.

I don't even....

I've probably seen that pun 5 times today.

29 - Why have you been in five situations that make that pun applicable in one day?

You should win an award for originality.

55- ok maybe i was exaggerating...but I do see that pun way too much!

bRower 3

Damn misread the comment. I automatically misread it as a 'shitty situation' post haha.

Hopefully he left quite quickly after this!

People shouldn't have sex with parents in the house. Saves a lot of trouble.

bizarre_ftw 21

I completely misread that ^ the first time and nearly jumped at the mental picture it gave me Please please Please! Change the word "with" to "while there are"

But then we wouldn't be able to read the stories and laugh at people.

To late to edit. Sorry. :D

dankpotatoes 2

I bet she thought that was hot.

What is wrong with you?

56 she is a dank potato. That's what is wrong with her, she needs a good scrubbing with a stiff vegetable brush.

56- Clearly, you don't understand sarcasm.

dankpotatoes 2

Sarcasm dumbasses.

No one gets its sarcasm??

tjsc831 0

Pretend to shit or lose your dick? Think u made a good choice

Why would anyone want to have sex with other people in the house anyways?

32 - because it's sex

holyballs89 3

Dude that sucks. Killed the mood man.

So you're the screamer in the relationship?

SystemofaBlink41 27

A weird screamer while your at it.... I mean who screams like: HNGGGHNN! UNGGGHHN!

senor_awesome 14

43-Arnold shwarzenegger. idk if I spelled that right

I love how the comment above this one has Scream for the default.

you should have dirty sanchez'd it. it wouldnt kill the mood and you still would be making shit noises

fukmefreddy 4

should've asked her for a blumpkin. then there would've been no faking in your constipation noises :)