Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, my husband and I caught our 12-year-old son "experimenting" with a 5-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse. He even made sure to rip Mickey's pants off. FML
Today, my 4-year-old son discovered that he really likes masturbating. So much in fact, that he took pictures of it with my phone. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, I found my 5-year-old son prancing around in high heels and cat ears, wearing a thong as a necklace, and waving a riding crop around like a sword. He'd found the box where granny keeps her special outfits that make granddad extra happy on Friday nights. FML
Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML
Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML
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Top comments
a_girl_i_know 0
today's kids know a lot more stuff now than when we were kids, I wouldn't be surprised if he learned it at school.
memo619 0
I think it was the fathers influence
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Comments (165)
RichardLongshaft 0
Instead of assuming they are all having sex and a huge orgy why don't you just ask him what the animals are all doing he will tell the truth
uawildcats7 0
That's so funny. hey she's not bad parenting u guys all stop being negative. today a lot of youngers already know about sex because there's a lot of sicko people around. don't blame her blame sicko people!!!!!!
thorracing271 0
does your name happen to be Charlie Sheen?
heynicolehey 0
.. ROFLROFLROFL!! win ,(:
TheAnimator 0
I would love to see this as an illustrated
BugsBunny1 4
Well you know what they say about assumptions..... OP could be a gay guy happily married to another gay with an adopted child.
brennan677 0
that was a joke. i know everything about them. they arent bad
homesickabortion 2
I love the moral outrage and "oh my god what have you been doing etc, must have seen it on tv blah blah". Honestly, how many of you (especially dudes) didnt put action figures, legos, playmobiles, stuffed animals, and even vaguely humanoid and phallic shapes into compromising sexual positions when you were 5/6? hell, four is the age when the brain is psychologically capable of distinguishing the difference between male and female, so how is any of it even surprising?
phatdaddy62 23
My sister had a favorite stuffed monkey with a long tail. I was about 6. I used to pull it's tail forward and up like an erect penis all the time!! Good laughs! Good times!
tiffanyrobbin 0
lmao. that is great.
tiffanyrobbin 0
I think he meant his sons. but if he did mean his- that would be weird.
maddiester 5
maybe you have a dirty mind and thought you saw sex positions. you should try to be more realistic op... but then who am I to say; I'll probably get someone respond under me with some smart ass answer.
xcarxcrashx 9
crickets...