Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, my husband and I caught our 12-year-old son "experimenting" with a 5-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse. He even made sure to rip Mickey's pants off. FML
Today, my 4-year-old son discovered that he really likes masturbating. So much in fact, that he took pictures of it with my phone. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, I found my 5-year-old son prancing around in high heels and cat ears, wearing a thong as a necklace, and waving a riding crop around like a sword. He'd found the box where granny keeps her special outfits that make granddad extra happy on Friday nights. FML
Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML
Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML
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Top comments
a_girl_i_know 0
today's kids know a lot more stuff now than when we were kids, I wouldn't be surprised if he learned it at school.
memo619 0
I think it was the fathers influence
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Comments (165)
FreakoHolm 6
WOW, it's like you've exchanged roles. The adult has got stuffed animals and the kid is illustrating orgies ;D
WBUCKLEY 0
ikik, i walkd in on my parents one time and then i joined them. it was awsome, but then my daddy had to go away for a while. he didnt come back.
snafu63 0
bigger question...why do you as an adult have a bunch of stuffed animals?
xcarxcrashx 9
Wow 119, way to make it about you. And your silly little incident with a three year old ASKING what boobs are is NOTHING compared with a FIVE year old apparently KNOWING what sex and orgies are. Big huge difference. Basically what they're saying is one of the ways young children act after being sexually abused is to mimic what happened to them with toys. So that's why it's a red flag.
lulu121893 0
haha..!
doofinsmurf 0
Has he been watching South Park? Reminds me of "A Woodland Critter Christmas"
MyLifeIsGreat_ha 0
evedentally jr found out mommy's a *****
Runner0050 0
As if he actually knows what those positions are; why don't you stop worrying and play with him rather than make him wander aimlessly around the house to find yet another stuffed animal.
Lily_white 0
You have a 5-year old son and still have your own stuffed animals? ^.-
iRockkoutloud 0
dhtz hawt xD