Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML
Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML
Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML
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Top comments
PoshLife_Cross 5
That's cute.
xlittlemiss 0
LOL. Well you can't blame her. She's only 5.
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Comments (183)
stevenmx86 8
That's too cute! It does suck that you have to clean it up now but that's so cute.
FaiThLyN 3
At least she listened.........:)
hellonyancat 6
Aww children are so literal. If you aren't specific they just fill in the blanks themselves. I hope she feels better soon.
darkmis1 18
Why didn't you take her there yourself?
thatKidzmOm 10
I was thinking this. Op should've followed a little closer behind her child to make sure she was alright. I mean, kids choke easily.....op should've been in there with her the whole time
SwaggaKing322 0
You told her to go to the bathroom that's exactly what she did
iliketwertles 2
Classic.
wittygirl 8
Poor thing well she did do what u told her to do..
kimono_fml 17
Aww! Hope she's feeling better
777buddy777 0
Lmao u shud have gone with her
123_omg 19
you have to be very specific with kids nowadays. they aren't as smart...
irockfendergirl 0
101- your comment is a bit ridiculous. We are talking about a 5 year old CHILD here. Just because this poor little girl made a mistake, it doesn't mean she isn't intelligent. Accidents happen. Next time you make a mistake, take a look in the mirror and please don't forget to remind yourself that you are lacking intelligence. That's basically your logic here. Ridiculous, isn't it?