Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML
Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML
Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML
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Top comments
PoshLife_Cross 5
That's cute.
xlittlemiss 0
LOL. Well you can't blame her. She's only 5.
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Comments (183)
juturnaamo 29
That blows...at least tile floors are easy to clean though.
beckyxD 13
A sign that your child may turn into a smart ass when she's older. Lol
KeannaLove 32
If you managed to read the entire post, she clearly stated she followed a few seconds later. It's not like she completely ignored her daughter and let her figure it out herself. She did exactly what any other parent would do.
hateevryone 15
you should've told her to throw up in the toilet.
Envythabosslady 1
For all of the people who said this child wasnt very smart...she was brilliant. She did as she was told, and went to the bathroom. It was a lack od SPECIFIC directions that created the mess. The child is 5. I hope she is feeling better crackers and vernors will help settle the tummy. And those who insulted this child...ought to be ashamed of themselves.
Norsk_Emily 8
"Why didn't you just take her to the bathroom 'you're self' " "...to do when their about to..." Honestly, use proper grammar, spelling and punctuation please. Also, the child is five years old. She did exactly what her mother told her to do.
steve16890 5
What an idiot
pablopoo 7
Who says shes a ***** she said a good time not im guna go over and screw him
chels1994 11
At least she listened
TheViolentTomboy 5
My mom always went into the bathroom with me to pat my back when I threw up as a kid.