By rabidfairy - United States - San Francisco
Today, the man I have been in love with for years came to me with a beautiful ring and a heartfelt proposal. Too bad it ended with an eager, "So do you think he'll say yes?" FML
rabidfairy tells us more :
yes, you are correct. we've been friends since childhood and I've always known he was gay. just my luck that my heart would have none of it :/
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By  nomtard  |  16

Well at least you weren't already married. FYL op.


She's saying he was asking her if another man (the man in which he was proposing to) would say yes to the proposal. He wasn't proposing to OP, he was asking her opinion about one.

  nomtard  |  16

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

  syki  |  22

@37 You've never heard of being in the closet? How about a beard? Protip: they don't always mean a storage space and facial hair. Not to mention he could be bisexual.

On the other hand, I'd find it kind of weird that he'd propose to her if they were already married.

  stargirl_95  |  24

I don't think the beard/he could be in the closet scenarios apply here. It sounds to me as though this guy has been dating the man he wants to propose to for a while and OP has been secretly in love with him despite knowing that he's either gay or at the very least taken. I don't think OP ever dated this guy so I doubt she was his beard or he was in the closet.

  pandalover69  |  26

@41, considering he's proposing he probably hasn't been in the closet for years. He might just be bi and she remained hopeful for years. Heck He could even just be gay and she wanted to change him. Unless the OP gives a follow up we won't know.

  syki  |  22

@64 But she's just saying that it's better to pine over the idea of him, knowing it could never be, then have been married with maybe a couple of kids and *then* finding out he'd rather be with a guy, like in a couple of previous FMLs.

  SkyGuy32  |  17

OP was in love with her gay friend and he asked her if she thought his boyfriend would marry him. They weren't romantically involved at the time.

  sssayesss  |  5

I don't think this deserves to have so many negative votes; it is quite possible for anyone to be in a relationship with another human being that just so happens to be the same gender.

  fufigi  |  5

I'd assume they were friends for years since she says she was in love with him for that long. He probably came to her to see if his proposal speech was good enough, not to confuse or tease her. Obviously since he showed her the ring beforehand and asked her opinion, he would have also told her previously about his boyfriend.

  elusiveshame  |  22

YDI if you knew he was gay.

  kotake  |  7

I think anyone can relate to an unrequited love. A great person who is perfect for you but is not a romantic option. It isn't a "gay" thing.
I think you just need to remind yourself that he just isn't an option. With a lot of unrequited loves we hold that in the right circumstances (even if those circumstances are as rare as all the planets in our solar system aligning) the unrequited loves will transform into a requited one.
I was in the same situation. I'm gay and liked a straight guy. But it helps to realize that if you're not an option for him, therefore he's not an option for you. After all, if x doesn't equal y, then how can y = x? After that you may feel hurt, like "why aren't I an option for him, aren't I enough?". But it's not because you have any flaw, it's just because of reality. He isn't attracted to you because it's you specifically. You could be anyone else personality or look-wise, as long as you are female he would not feel an attraction.
It'll take time. But if you keep remembering all of that it should get easier. It's nothing to get angry or hurt about. Honestly anger/hurt is the wrong way to go because if you feel that way, and then he acts sweet or caring, it muddles up the feelings, creates knots, and you have to take more time to untangle them,

  youravgfuckup  |  12

Welp, if he's gay then he's gay. Is it possible of him to have liked a female? Yes. It does happen.
But if you care for him, you should be happy for him and support him, not pity yourself (no offence. I know that sounds harsh).
It's about him, not you. But now you can take your life into your hands and go out and make that connection with someone else.
Being regretful of someone else's orientation can make it seem like there's something wrong with it.
I hope you can support him and find someone who connects with you in the future!

By  seriouslygrowup  |  11

I think the fact that he asked if "he will say yes" indicates the dude you are in love with is gay and you never stood a chance anyway. So don't see how you're all heartbroken when you knew he was gay?

  kaseyyeahh  |  7

ahhh so youre one of those homophobic assholes.

bi is a thing. it exists. its annoying how we get shit from both straight and gay people. Im 24, still like both, not at all confused.

  Mynamewontfi  |  40

11, Maybe you should take your own name as an advice for yourself.
I'm pretty sure that people who are bi-sexual, are far from confused, since they know they're attracted to both sexes.

  Brandi_Faith  |  33

Sometimes the heart wants what it wants even when it doesn't make sense. And even though she probably knew she'd never have a chance, she probably still had that 2% of her that was hoping maybe someday. My advice OP is to move on and find someone that will make you as happy as his fiancé makes him.