Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML
Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML
Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML
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Top comments
PoshLife_Cross 5
That's cute.
xlittlemiss 0
LOL. Well you can't blame her. She's only 5.
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Comments (183)
iDaniel525 8
This is both disgusting and adorable.
bubo_fml 11
Do you prefer the other way 'round?!
MissAmz 7
Gay.
MissAmz 7
Gay.
jocyyjayy 0
Myy 8 year old brother did that . -_-
DocBastard 40
I think every parent since the invention of the toilet has gone through exactly this scenario. Hope the little tyke feels better.
tabarnak_fml 7
I saw your blog because of your profile. Some people are as stupid as shit. Sweet stories man (:
KiddNYC1O 22
Funny you mentioned that. Yesterday, my sister's 3 year old godson wanted to pee badly while I was on the toilet with massive diarrhea. "I have to pipiiii". Wait your turn KJ!
KiddNYC1O 22
You're right. It's NOT a story. I never said it was. Neither was I trying to be funny, it actually happened. You have a problem? PM me next time, jerk.
Takainthemachine 0
That's too cute for you to get mad...you probably didn't potty train hey for vomiting.
Ariana2_fml 2
Haha I did the same thing when I was young
desireev 18
Vomiting is kind of an immediate thing. Mommy didn't have time to go grab her hand and calmly walk daughter to the bathroom and show her how to do it. When it comes to vomiting, the first thing you're gonna do is yell out "GO TO THE BATHROOM!".. So don't question her parenting. She did the right thing.
bizarre_ftw 22
So apparently little Einsteins Does work
VoteForTaco 8
Well...She listned
VoteForTaco 8
Listened*