Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
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Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML
Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML
Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML
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Top comments
PoshLife_Cross 5
That's cute.
xlittlemiss 0
LOL. Well you can't blame her. She's only 5.
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Comments (183)
TehAngryLoli 4
I doubt person is annoyed that their child puked, much less on the bathroom floor. It's an FML moment because it happened and it was less than desirable. Would you be all sunny and cheering 'yay' after that? No. You people would complain. Shit happens people and I don't think anyone is on this website to say how happy they are that they stepped in dog crap or joyful about getting on their hands and knees to clean up vomit after their child didn't realise the wonders of throwing up on the toilet. If you don't want to read about people bitching about even the most petty of things, why are you on this website? Now, anyone who has taken psychology classes or child development classes should know this(if you didn't/if not, now you will know! YAY!): Children at certain ages are very literal and need EXACT directions or they won't completely comprehend it and the results will normally not be that of someone who is, say, 10 years old. Thankfully, most grow out of this, unless they have a particular disorder. Next time your five year old says she needs to puke, pick her up and RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! Or if it's really bad a garbage can/sink/bowl will work. That, or you need to be specific.
dapheronixx03 6
Awee poor kidd i hate throwing upp even now :/ and shes only fivee leave her alond and clean it up!
AndersonC 0
Be more specific next time
wafflerampage 0
At least you know she's potty trained.
cherry_berry80 0
Well she made it to the bathroom
Emperorerror 8
How can people think this is CUTE? I mean, I can obviously see why the daughter thought what she did, but it's not cute.
Squrril 0
Well you did say to rush to the bathroom but you did not say to throw up in the toilet and sit on the floor
KatherineJ 0
Little kids are the cutest, aren't they?
RainaMadeilline 0
Omg she did listen buttttt..... Tell her to puke in the toilet next time. Hope she gets better.
slackattack364 0
Lol