Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML
Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML
Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML
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Top comments
PoshLife_Cross 5
That's cute.
xlittlemiss 0
LOL. Well you can't blame her. She's only 5.
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Comments (183)
skyeyez9 25
Reminds me of the fml where the mom told her daughter to remove her socks and blow her nose. And she complied, literally. Blowing her nose with the sock.
maximilian13 4
This metal image is hilarious ... Sorry :)
LullzKitteh 1
One evening when I was 4, I was lying in bed when I realized I had to puke. I'd only EVER puked into this one green pail we had, so naturally, I rushed into the living room where my parents were watching TV, and tried asking them where the green pail was...as I repeatedly puked all over the carpet. ;)
Haha_no_123 11
144- same thing with me. But whenever I felt sick I did that all the time
MetaGirl 3
That's precious. Kids are literal that way. That's the only thing she knows to do is sit on the potty.
hoodyNOT2shoes 0
You have to be specific with thems!!!
projudy 9
Hahha what a classic
HunterAlpha1 8
shoulda specified, just sayin'...
thetoxiclion 4
But she listend....
Hulabaloola 0
LOL
MattZAX 9
Smart kid you got there.