Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, my boyfriend leaned over and sniffed me like a dog. He does this almost every day, even in front of people sometimes. FML
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
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Top comments
Shlizabeth 0
Well, clearly he brought you there to show you the importance of personal hygiene.
kahaari 0
three words? clean. your. vag.
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Comments (309)
sikanderimran 0
#23 is actually an offended fish.
jillz 0
Haha! That's hilarious #75 (jncwmnd). I bet he was like, "Hey, I know you just had labor and pushed out a baby. And you're probably all sore, having massive breast and back pain, and nervous as hell. But could you push all that plus your excitement over the new baby to the side for a bit because my penis needs some relief? We all know how very important my penis is." Aren't men so considerate? I've heard plenty of stories just like yours. I've worked in plenty of places with almost all female co-workers and have learned much from their trials.
xarcanus 0
Holy shit is Jandersoniii actually serious? If so, I think she should have been to the funny farm so many times that she gets a free ride on the tractor because she filled her stamp card. "it is a violation of the woman's sovereign space, "- sounds like you're 'space' will be sovereign for a LOOONG time with that attitude. you're in queer studies?.... i'm not even going to touch this one; that's like saying I'm in african american studies by calling it "N****r' studies (sorry for the slang, only using it to make my point). #68 the only people that will touch you will be actual rapists; you're just asking to get hit by the karma delivery truck my friend. Not trying to put anyone in their place, just making a few observations and pointing out some flaw in arguments.
ArtsySwag 0
Jandersonii, you made my night. I can't believe you actually believe the nonsense you type. It's so funny lol.
Backburner 0
@#23- at the rate of 10 million per second, the number of women beaten, tortured, raped, or killed each: -Second is = 10,000,000 or MORE then the number of cars sold in the US in 2006 -Minute is = 60,000,000 or TWICE the total number of users of "Adult Friend Finder" -Hour is = 3,600,000,000 or the populations of the top 8 most populated counties, COMBINED -Day is = 86,400,000,000 or 13.3 TIMES the population of the WORLD -Year is = 31,536,000,000,000 or about a third of ALL the cells (human or otherwise) in an average person
lmmmr 0
#94- You are clearly entirely isolated from both the gay and educated communities. Queer is a term loving embraced by the LGBT community, and Queer Studies is a legitimate degree offered by the majority of the nation's top universities. Considering that was the only thing you said slightly resembling a point, you fail.
colourmealy 0
one word: douche
lolololcheese 0
lol at everyone using jandersonii's username instead of their post number like they usually do
FarSide 23
Well jandersoniii, why are you so angry? Jesus can heal you of your hurt.
forthelulz_fml 0
PROTIP: Don't be a douche, use one. :)