Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, my boyfriend leaned over and sniffed me like a dog. He does this almost every day, even in front of people sometimes. FML
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Shlizabeth 0
Well, clearly he brought you there to show you the importance of personal hygiene.
kahaari 0
three words? clean. your. vag.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (309)
RuralNinja 0
@23 You are a COMPLETE ******* IDIOT. The population of the USA is roughly 300 million. Going off the assumption of about a 50-50 division of about males to females, every female in the united states is "beaten, tortured, raped, or killed" 57600 times per day. LOL@ Dumbass feminists
coopcas 0
I feel as though someone hacked jandersoniii's account, I don't know why everyone ignores the post 131, just seems inconsistant.
cutebutpsycho 0
jandersoniii, you are in the wrong place! I am a female, and I am a virgin. I do not 'need a man' to make me feel worthwhile. All sex is not rape. I think that statistically most sex is not rape. Sex has two purposes: procreation and pleasure. Personally, I have chosen to be abstinent until marriage (I want to have sex someday). But that's a choice based on my morals which come from a religioius standpoint. You, on the other hand, are just crazy. I don't care if someone disagrees with me about my religion. And they get to make their own decisions about what they do as far as sex and whatever else is concerned. Stop trying to convince women that they will all be raped (multiple times) and that all men are potential rapists. Please go away. Try sex once, see if you like it! Hopefully we can get back to the hilarity of the OP's situation.
NotTheAverage 0
hey jandersoniii: What about reverse cowgirl. Is that still rape? But seriously, you say all sex is rape because of the "penetrating violation of a womans space"... When that women wants you in her space, how can it be a violation? Also, about finding a way to allow men to have babies and 50% of babies should be birthed by men? Unbelievable! I empathize with women having to endure the pain of childbirth, but seriously! My aunt had cancer and suffered horribly - I guess that means we should all have to suffer that pain, otherwise it's not true equality. Anyways, your extremist views need to stop polluting this website. Judging by the comments in response to your posts - you are "violating" the views of most men AND women on this site.
ShelbyG 0
Bahahahahaha~! Ohh god now THAT was disgusting :D But ohh so funny.....Baha, Favorited.
musigreg 0
Well if you smell that bad and he's still with you it means that he really loves you. :) however i suggest you fix your hygene issues.
coopcas 0
I kinda miss jandersoniii. They haven't commented in a while, and their last two have been awkward and somewhat not on par. ):
RuralNinja 0
jandersoniii, you are a COMPLETE ******* IDIOT. It'd be easier to literally shit a brick than to pull that "statistic" out of your ass. The population of the USA is roughly 300 million, with approx. 50% of that female. Going off of that, every woman in the USA is assaulted every 15 seconds. Which means that the entire female population of the entire USA is "beaten, tortured, raped, or killed" 57,600 times PER DAY.
klutzilla1275 0
23... you're a tool. and he could have obviously been joking around, or else he should know he'd get slapped :P i think it's hilarious and if i were you i woulda just laughed...
TerminallyChill 0
"first 10 million a second is completely reasonable considering its not a different woman every second. ill estimate about 120 million women in the US have been physically abused/tortured/raped at least 100 times in her life." And you people are still taking this shit seriously? Guys. It's a joke. It was kind of funny at first, now quit feeding the troll. Also, OP, clean it up down there. Patriarchy or no, that's just kind of unpleasant.