Or, get drunk off your mind and have a near death experience with a pack of gum!

Ahhh mentos, they would be purrrrrfect!

With coke even better ;)

"My doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there."

^Um...what does that have to do with this FML?

Funny what comes to mind when people read this. I was wondering like MEOW cat or like.... ummm pussy...cat?

those are ralph wiggum references ;)

20, 38 is right, 2's post was a ralph wiggum quote, so I just followed it up with my own ralph quote. Guess you gotta be a fan of early Simpsons episodes to get it.

33 what I thought of was the boyfriend asking are you cheating on me with my cat;)

Can salt freshen your breath? Sounds like a high-sodium cure.

No matter what!

Fabulous.

No matter what! OP, your boyfriend has piss-poor timing. But you might want to get things checked out if have continual bad breath.

What the fuck is a quiff? That's not even phonetic. It's 'queef.'

Actually in certain languages, the letter I is pronounced E. I know quiff, would sound like queef in Japanese. The more you know. ;-)

Isn't a quiff a hairstyle? 0_0

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quiff No, quiff is most certainly a hairstyle. Still, I don't know what the average quiff smells like.... XD

30- no you are wrong...just, wrong. I's make the hard "i" sound in some situations in japanese. see: hai (pronounced like hi), samurai, and others. it makes an e sound in other words, but it does both

The I is prounounced like E in several languages (don't know about Japanese myself), as said before. For instance in French and my native language Dutch.