Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, my boyfriend leaned over and sniffed me like a dog. He does this almost every day, even in front of people sometimes. FML
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
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Top comments
Shlizabeth 0
Well, clearly he brought you there to show you the importance of personal hygiene.
kahaari 0
three words? clean. your. vag.
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Comments (309)
Eros_fml 0
#23, go suck a dick obviously this guy has been sucking her ****** to please his woman, and if he is going to do that FAVOR for her, she should keep it clean bow down to MANkind, they run the world
Lifedoutcobra 0
Its a shame so much time and money was spent to get you a PhD in queer studies. Thats gotta be a solid 4 figure job, with a highly demanding field, and plenty of challenges to keep you growing. You were probably raped and beaten as a child for being a lesbian feminazi who has hated men since your alcoholic stepfather. You are ignorant to the fact that all people are equal and us males have as much empathy as you woman, and that ever person stands alone when one isnt stereotypicallizing. Thank god your in New Mexico.
fobchick 0
clean that stanky puss! That is so gross! Go to the gyno for that! O_o
llaawwll 0
#53 is right. I've washed my girlfriends ****** myself to let her prove a point. Her ****** is clean, but it just has it's own odor. Aparently everyone who's like EW WASH THAT SHIT has never been laid by a woman. But just a tip to the OP, hairless is easier to maintain and doesn't hold odor as much. But seriously for everyone else, vaginas aren't like hands, which smell good after a little bit of soap. Every one is different and each has it's own smell, so either grow up and get used to it, or get used to ******* your palm.
iamturtle101 0
jandersonii's a fuckign idiot, hahahahaha
jncwmnd 0
ew #23...I wouldn't be doing anything to a guy's lower parts if he hasn't been showring or staying clean..not like its only women....when i had my kid..the dad stayed in the hospital with me the entire time and that jerk was still tryin to make me suck him...and 3/4 days of not showering >_< ick
Kissusexy1010 0
u prolly have bad case of bv( bactrecial viganioss ) and 23 u crazy girl clam down theres no need for all of that
I_am_stupid_also 6
#48 - "Try to argue but I am a queer studies Phd at the university of eastern new mexico so i know much more than you about what rape and sexuality entails" Sorry about your bad experience, but you are just so damned annoying the guy probably raped you to try to shut you up.
Delilahlilah 0
#70 was that MANkind supposed to be a joke? Far from funny...
lmmmr 0
#78- That's completely uncool.