Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, my boyfriend leaned over and sniffed me like a dog. He does this almost every day, even in front of people sometimes. FML
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
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Top comments
Shlizabeth 0
Well, clearly he brought you there to show you the importance of personal hygiene.
kahaari 0
three words? clean. your. vag.
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Comments (309)
PureGold 0
Okay Jandersonii, so a guy slaps this girl twice in one second. Or maybe one per second for 2 seconds. Does that REALLY make your statistic reasonable or believable in any way? You obviously made it up yourself, without any facts to validate it. And now you try to make all of use believe it? Damn closed-minded people like you give feminists a bad name. As for the second part of that, I'm Jewish, I honestly don't care what you think of Jesus. You just REALLY need to stop using the phrase "evil masculine forces". Third, So men need to start having babies, huh? "All we need to do is find a biological way to allow men to have babies"...so it's THAT simple? WOW, I never realized that! It changes everything!! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR ******* MIND?? Yeah, I think you are. Look, we all know childbirth is one of the things that will always make us different to than men, but babies need to be made somehow. And in case you didn't notice, there's NOTHING men can do to change that either!! You're saying men are evil for forcing women to have children...you know what's evil? You blaming them for that!!! Maybe it isn't fair, but no one says YOU have to have a child. So why don't you leave the rest of us alone and stop trying to impose your views on people who don't give a shit what you think? Thanks.
emery2323 0
#23, 46....etc. Oddly enough I have a great sense of self-worth...I just happen to love sex. Sue me. Just because some people have issues with themselves (look in a mirror), doesn't mean we all do. Strong women will be strong women, whether or not they have sex. Weak women will be....I think you get the point.
NuclearWinter 0
jandersoniii, were you born of 2 women or something?
ArtsySwag 0
Elemandem- about the continuing a species thing, that's why she mentioned the fact that sex is not necessary individually... Jandersoniii- haven't you heard? Life isn't fair. & I don't think you're about equality, at all. You're about hatred, revenge, and fighting men, which is not such a good way to go about achieving equality... I'm still baffled that you think promoting poor hygiene is fighting patriarchy O_o.
Wheat 0
Wowzers, this is a popular fuhmel.
suckerz 0
jandersoniiiiiii: go and sit on the washing machine for a while and then you'll be out begging men to "rape" you... are you for real??? seriously...
razzumfrazzum 0
I'll continue to feed the troll so it gets fat and dies of morbid obesity :D Janderson your mother should've swallowed you. There are only approx 6.8 billion people on the planet, but if you're talking about all those girls that die on your face every sec then maybe you should consider a better line of work. I bet you looked like a freshly glazed Krispy Kreme Donut.
luckyyyy 0
jandersoniii you're weird so you are saying in your latest post you said your the victim because someone saved you and that means he is a rapist ?? babies wtf thats how we were created??? I'm confused
suicidekings 0
uh, I'd just like to point out that some women LIKE sex. and I'd also like to point out that lesbians/women sometimes use ****** and the like for penetration in sex/masturbation, so doesn't that make women rapists too? also. er. since when is bad hygiene a symbol of women's rights? I consider myself a feminist on certain subjects too, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let my cooch smell like Long John Silvers. #126 (heyhey1880) - OP stands for "original poster", aka the person who wrote the FML.
suckerz 0
oh and about the unfairness that is childbirth... no one will ever know what hurts most: childbirth or a kick in the nuts (a chandler bing-ism) so stop complaining... the only thing we know for sure is that the pains of childbirth have a reason whereas the pain of a nut-crushing don't...