Well turn it around, tell him that if he cheats, you'll chop him up and throw away his penis.

Why so serious??

What about dat ass?! The boobies are great and all, but gotta have dat ass too.

He might be the rapist that, if you scream, he'll chop off your boobies and sew you eyes shut.

35- I love that movie.

Love ur profile pic

Which movie is that? I think #35 is referring to a past FML. Feed my eyes, can you sew them shut? Jesus Christ, deny your maker *** Thanks #35. Your comment now has me singing Alice in Chains- "Man in the Box" (:

Your welcome... I think?

You're*

Very scary. I told my gf that once an she said she would keep my penis. Lol

Dat? Really? Would it really be that much more difficult to write THAT, instead of dat?

I notice that the boyfriends that are most crazy on here are in Singapore

178- dat was out of line. And Keyman- there's a zombie behind you.

178- Not sure if trolling, or know nothing about the Internet.... "Dat ass" is a popular meme that involves a someone with sunglasses on, biting their lip, looking at a gorgeous bootay.

haha Like tht pic of the online gamer

lol my girlfriend totally said she would kill me but keep my penis as dildo. long term relationships involve hearing and saying weird things occasionally

Boobies = good pillow.

Big Ass= Tempurpedic pillow

25 & 33: Thank you two for my billion dollar business idea.

I never thought of keeping the boobies, that's a good idea. what about the butt?

59 they already have booby bean bags :O. Comes in different colors.

At least he has his priorities straight!

Creepy a** mother f*****.

You shouldnt cheat on him anyways

exactly. This isn't an FML unless she already cheated. In which case she deserves it =)

No, it's an FML because her boyfriend is an effin physcopath

And get a chestplate

But that's the best solution for everything!

or...you know..dont cheat.

But why eat it. You can use it for a number of things like a coat hanger or even a center piece.

Or you could even make a necklace out of it and wear it as a fashion statement. Or even masturbate with it? ..no because would be soft..wouldn't it?

Or she could get another boyfriend instead of using a chopped off penis to masturbate? O.o

Rebecca black isn't that bad she's improving

82- she's using a sh*t load of auto tune; that's why she sounds better than she did in Friday.

Rebecca black is cool...if you're a 12 year old girl.

Get it stuffed and hang it on your wall

60- taxidermist? Did someone say Chuck Testa?

Or possibly a candle or dog toy?

I was the 69th thumbs down:) gitty gitty

I'm getting really bad mental images right about now.

Umm rebecca black died....

Wow. You know your a genius, right?

Gotta love a man with a plan :)

Sounds like you're jealous

Hey! :)

No it doesnt?

I agree! He must love her lol

No she does, cause if she gets falsely accused :O