By Faithful - 24/11/2011 10:01 - Singapore

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML
I agree, your life sucks 51 280
You deserved it 7 726

Same thing different taste

Comments

Well turn it around, tell him that if he cheats, you'll chop him up and throw away his penis.

What about dat ass?! The boobies are great and all, but gotta have dat ass too.

He might be the rapist that, if you scream, he'll chop off your boobies and sew you eyes shut.

zurisbloodyrose 0

Which movie is that? I think #35 is referring to a past FML. Feed my eyes, can you sew them shut? Jesus Christ, deny your maker *** Thanks #35. Your comment now has me singing Alice in Chains- "Man in the Box" (:

alexnumber14 2

Very scary. I told my gf that once an she said she would keep my penis. Lol

TalkinSmack 6

Dat? Really? Would it really be that much more difficult to write THAT, instead of dat?

MizzErikaHart 8

I notice that the boyfriends that are most crazy on here are in Singapore

supermankisses 1

178- dat was out of line. And Keyman- there's a zombie behind you.

178- Not sure if trolling, or know nothing about the Internet.... "Dat ass" is a popular meme that involves a someone with sunglasses on, biting their lip, looking at a gorgeous bootay.

lildevil963 0

haha Like tht pic of the online gamer

lol my girlfriend totally said she would kill me but keep my penis as *****. long term relationships involve hearing and saying weird things occasionally

25 & 33: Thank you two for my billion dollar business idea.

rexgar2000 10

I never thought of keeping the boobies, that's a good idea. what about the butt?

hawaiianfire 0

59 they already have booby bean bags :O. Comes in different colors.

valdancer99 0

At least he has his priorities straight!

fatme2012 7
nevergo 10

exactly. This isn't an FML unless she already cheated. In which case she deserves it =)

No, it's an FML because her boyfriend is an effin physcopath

saIty 17

Match his threat with an even creepier one. Like I'll force you to listen to Rebecca Black, while I blow up every part of your body. Except your ****, because I'm going to eat it.

But why eat it. You can use it for a number of things like a coat hanger or even a center piece.

KRS_13 0

Or you could even make a necklace out of it and wear it as a fashion statement. Or even ********** with it? ..no because would be soft..wouldn't it?

Xr70r7 4

Or she could get another boyfriend instead of using a chopped off penis to **********? O.o

Rebecca black isn't that bad she's improving

omgcookeys 15

82- she's using a sh*t load of auto tune; that's why she sounds better than she did in Friday.

Rebecca black is cool...if you're a 12 year old girl.

hamncheeseinit 6

Get it stuffed and hang it on your wall

60- taxidermist? Did someone say Chuck Testa?

almostalbino 10

Or possibly a candle or dog toy?

I was the 69th thumbs down:) gitty gitty

iknowimawesome 13

I'm getting really bad mental images right about now.

lovinit5683 0

You got nothing to worry about as long as you don't cheat!!! But that's creepy.

hawaiianfire 0

No she does, cause if she gets falsely accused :O