Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML
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Top comments
By
B0NER
| 2
Must have good boobies
By
rayrayray23
| 1
Best solution: Go to Narnia.
COMMENTS
By
lexiilost
| 0
Wow.... Scary much?
Reply
sleepindevil
| 15
Well turn it around, tell him that if he cheats, you'll chop him up and throw away his penis.
Reply
trgower13
| 0
Why so serious??
Reply
Keyman1212
| 14
What about dat ass?! The boobies are great and all, but gotta have dat ass too.
Reply
fanceh
| 10
He might be the rapist that, if you scream, he'll chop off your boobies and sew you eyes shut.
Reply
zurisbloodyrose
| 0
35- I love that movie.
Reply
grant1023
| 5
Love ur profile pic
Reply
Enslaved
| 36
Which movie is that? I think #35 is referring to a past FML.
Feed my eyes, can you sew them shut?
Jesus Christ, deny your maker
*** Thanks #35. Your comment now has me singing Alice in Chains- "Man in the Box" (:
Feed my eyes, can you sew them shut?
Jesus Christ, deny your maker
*** Thanks #35. Your comment now has me singing Alice in Chains- "Man in the Box" (:
Reply
fanceh
| 10
Your welcome... I think?
Reply
Canucks8506
| 0
You're*
Reply
alexnumber14
| 2
Very scary. I told my gf that once an she said she would keep my penis. Lol
Reply
TalkinSmack
| 6
Dat? Really? Would it really be that much more difficult to write THAT, instead of dat?
Reply
MizzErikaHart
| 8
I notice that the boyfriends that are most crazy on here are in Singapore
Reply
supermankisses
| 1
178- dat was out of line.
And Keyman- there's a zombie behind you.
And Keyman- there's a zombie behind you.
Reply
Keyman1212
| 14
178- Not sure if trolling, or know nothing about the Internet.... "Dat ass" is a popular meme that involves a someone with sunglasses on, biting their lip, looking at a gorgeous bootay.
Reply
lildevil963
| 0
haha Like tht pic of the online gamer
Reply
japcracker08
| 3
lol my girlfriend totally said she would kill me but keep my penis as dildo. long term relationships involve hearing and saying weird things occasionally
By
ALEXLASFLA
| 0
Was he serious?
Reply
Fruit_Dealer
| 9
Boobies = good pillow.
Reply
npnptracking
| 7
Big Ass= Tempurpedic pillow
Reply
thatssomeBS
| 9
25 & 33: Thank you two for my billion dollar business idea.
Reply
rexgar2000
| 10
I never thought of keeping the boobies, that's a good idea. what about the butt?
Reply
hawaiianfire
| 0
59 they already have booby bean bags :O. Comes in different colors.
Reply
valdancer99
| 0
At least he has his priorities straight!
Reply
fatme2012
| 7
Creepy a** mother f*****.
By
B0NER
| 2
Must have good boobies
Reply
zukinihudini
| 0
You shouldnt cheat on him anyways
Reply
nevergo
| 10
exactly. This isn't an FML unless she already cheated. In which case she deserves it =)
Reply
izawesome96
| 8
No, it's an FML because her boyfriend is an effin physcopath
By
rayrayray23
| 1
Best solution: Go to Narnia.
Reply
oreobunbun
| 3
And get a chestplate
Reply
Minecraftering
| 5
But that's the best solution for everything!
Reply
carbonbasedcynic
| 17
or...you know..dont cheat.
By
saIty
| 17
Match his threat with an even creepier one. Like I'll force you to listen to Rebecca Black, while I blow up every part of your body. Except your cock, because I'm going to eat it.
Reply
ItsTheKing
| 10
But why eat it. You can use it for a number of things like a coat hanger or even a center piece.
Reply
KRS_13
| 0
Or you could even make a necklace out of it and wear it as a fashion statement. Or even masturbate with it? ..no because would be soft..wouldn't it?
Reply
Xr70r7
| 4
Or she could get another boyfriend instead of using a chopped off penis to masturbate? O.o
Reply
heyitsdiamond
| 5
Rebecca black isn't that bad she's improving
Reply
omgcookeys
| 15
82- she's using a sh*t load of auto tune; that's why she sounds better than she did in Friday.
Reply
Cheesecakee
| 11
Rebecca black is cool...if you're a 12 year old girl.
Reply
hamncheeseinit
| 6
Get it stuffed and hang it on your wall
Reply
max500
| 4
60- taxidermist? Did someone say Chuck Testa?
Reply
almostalbino
| 10
Or possibly a candle or dog toy?
Reply
heartlessj
| 8
I was the 69th thumbs down:) gitty gitty
Reply
iknowimawesome
| 13
I'm getting really bad mental images right about now.
Reply
chilearmy123
| 4
Umm rebecca black died....
Reply
animal50199
| 10
Wow. You know your a genius, right?
By
monkeywrench1
| 10
That is true love. ;)
By
cash_monkey72
| 9
Good man!
By
clcbjj31
| 0
A man with priorities.
Reply
JennyMarie17
| 3
Gotta love a man with a plan :)
By
superficialheart
| 11
Aw that's cute.. :/
Reply
hawaiianfire
| 0
Sounds like you're jealous
Reply
hahahahaha93
| 0
Hey! :)
Reply
superficialheart
| 11
No it doesnt?
Reply
cunnalingus365
| 0
I agree! He must love her lol
By
lovinit5683
| 0
You got nothing to worry about as long as you don't cheat!!!
But that's creepy.
But that's creepy.
Reply
hawaiianfire
| 0
No she does, cause if she gets falsely accused :O