By Faithful - 24/11/2011 10:01 - Singapore

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML
I agree, your life sucks 51 291
You deserved it 7 729
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Top comments

Comments

sleepindevil 15

Well turn it around, tell him that if he cheats, you'll chop him up and throw away his penis.

94 4
Keyman1212 14

What about dat ass?! The boobies are great and all, but gotta have dat ass too.

79 7
fanceh 10

He might be the rapist that, if you scream, he'll chop off your boobies and sew you eyes shut.

33 1
zurisbloodyrose 0

35- I love that movie.

4 12
Enslaved 36

Which movie is that? I think #35 is referring to a past FML. Feed my eyes, can you sew them shut? Jesus Christ, deny your maker *** Thanks #35. Your comment now has me singing Alice in Chains- "Man in the Box" (:

6 9
alexnumber14 2

Very scary. I told my gf that once an she said she would keep my penis. Lol

9 1
TalkinSmack 6

Dat? Really? Would it really be that much more difficult to write THAT, instead of dat?

11 30
MizzErikaHart 8

I notice that the boyfriends that are most crazy on here are in Singapore

6 6
supermankisses 1

178- dat was out of line. And Keyman- there's a zombie behind you.

7 0
Keyman1212 14

178- Not sure if trolling, or know nothing about the Internet.... "Dat ass" is a popular meme that involves a someone with sunglasses on, biting their lip, looking at a gorgeous bootay.

17 0
lildevil963 0

haha Like tht pic of the online gamer

0 2
japcracker08 3

lol my girlfriend totally said she would kill me but keep my penis as *****. long term relationships involve hearing and saying weird things occasionally

6 0
thatssomeBS 9

25 & 33: Thank you two for my billion dollar business idea.

48 2
rexgar2000 10

I never thought of keeping the boobies, that's a good idea. what about the butt?

5 12
hawaiianfire 0

59 they already have booby bean bags :O. Comes in different colors.

11 1
valdancer99 0

At least he has his priorities straight!

2 1
fatme2012 7

Creepy a** mother f*****.

3 3
nevergo 10

exactly. This isn't an FML unless she already cheated. In which case she deserves it =)

7 3
izawesome96 8

No, it's an FML because her boyfriend is an effin physcopath

0 0
saIty 17

Match his threat with an even creepier one. Like I'll force you to listen to Rebecca Black, while I blow up every part of your body. Except your ****, because I'm going to eat it.

290 19
ItsTheKing 10

But why eat it. You can use it for a number of things like a coat hanger or even a center piece.

71 1
KRS_13 0

Or you could even make a necklace out of it and wear it as a fashion statement. Or even ********** with it? ..no because would be soft..wouldn't it?

9 70
Xr70r7 4

Or she could get another boyfriend instead of using a chopped off penis to **********? O.o

49 5
heyitsdiamond 5

Rebecca black isn't that bad she's improving

omgcookeys 15

82- she's using a sh*t load of auto tune; that's why she sounds better than she did in Friday.

39 4
Cheesecakee 11

Rebecca black is cool...if you're a 12 year old girl.

24 15
hamncheeseinit 6

Get it stuffed and hang it on your wall

8 5
max500 4

60- taxidermist? Did someone say Chuck Testa?

13 3
almostalbino 10

Or possibly a candle or dog toy?

2 7
heartlessj 8

I was the 69th thumbs down:) gitty gitty

0 7
iknowimawesome 13

I'm getting really bad mental images right about now.

11 1
lovinit5683 0

You got nothing to worry about as long as you don't cheat!!! But that's creepy.

29 7
hawaiianfire 0

No she does, cause if she gets falsely accused :O

8 2