Today, my date asked me if I enjoyed golden showers. We were...

By CathyMary - 20/08/2019 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, my date asked me if I enjoyed golden showers. We were in the middle of making out, and it was our first date, which I thought was going well. I guess when things seem too good to be true, they really are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 107

You deserved it 252

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Same thing different taste

Golden shower

By Anonymous - 08/11/2019 03:00

Today, I had my first golden shower. Too bad it was from my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 701

You deserved it 383

By shithappens - 31/03/2019 14:00

Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 236

You deserved it 670

Like a virgin

By chchboy - 22/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 125

You deserved it 7 104

By great. - 02/01/2013 18:59

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 958

You deserved it 3 554

A real ******

By never again - 30/11/2019 01:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I like, but I had to pee really bad. It got really wet down there, and he thought I squirted. I peed everywhere. I let him believe he made me squirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 368

You deserved it 737

Nature calls

By Anonymous - 27/03/2023 14:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was on a first date with a guy I met online. He seemed nice at first, but as we were walking he suddenly stopped and said, "I have to pee." He walked over to urinate on a nearby tree while I awkwardly stood there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 137

Observation

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 715

You deserved it 7 993

By Anonymous - 20/10/2013 19:56 - United States - West Babylon

Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 943

You deserved it 6 097

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 482

You deserved it 2 942

Dealbreaker

By Nico - 26/05/2021 14:01

Today, after going on a date with my girlfriend, we ended up having sex at her flat. When she took off her panties, I took a glance and saw poop stains on them. It turned me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 284

You deserved it 265

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 20 August 2019 23:43

I’ll bet you were pissed off!

BigSissy 14

Tuesday 20 August 2019 22:15

I was going to say I don’t know how people can even make an effort to date these days, but I realize it was pretty much the same when I was dating – 40 years ago. 😬

Comments

BigSissy 14

Tuesday 20 August 2019 22:15

I was going to say I don’t know how people can even make an effort to date these days, but I realize it was pretty much the same when I was dating – 40 years ago. 😬

jbuckets_404 38

Tuesday 20 August 2019 22:17

Wait, what? How does the idea of even being married - much less for 50 years - even come up on a first date??? /s [As already alluded to by the first 2 words of this comment.]

Hannah Eder 16

Tuesday 20 August 2019 22:28

I.....I dont think you know what golden showers are, unless this was sarcasm.

Spootage 4

Wednesday 21 August 2019 0:09

Making it 50 years as a couple is an incredible accomplishment—and one that should be acknowledged and celebrated with meaningful gifts. The traditional 50 year anniversary gift is gold.