Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll...

By Faithful - 24/11/2011 10:01 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 274

You deserved it 7 726

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Same thing different taste

Small comforts

By Anonymous - 22/03/2020 22:36

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend admitted to having an affair. To comfort me, he said, "But you have bigger boobs, so you have nothing to worry about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 690

You deserved it 185

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 16:11 - Canada - Stoney Creek

Today, my fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make my boobs larger. It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 739

You deserved it 6 533

By KBL3 - 11/08/2010 09:16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 216

You deserved it 14 971

By Ggirl - 01/10/2013 19:41 - United States - Camarillo

Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 572

You deserved it 15 378

Oddly specific question

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 06:00 - Japan - Osaka

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 541

The Rock

By Anonymous - 26/06/2022 22:00

Today, my bodybuilder boyfriend has been cheating on me, so I slapped him. He has such huge shoulder/neck muscle stuff, his head didn’t even move, and I dislocated 2 fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 989

Practical

By Abused - 13/10/2010 08:36 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 895

You deserved it 20 133

By Anonymous - 24/08/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 398

You deserved it 7 159

By Anonymous - 19/01/2010 07:58 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 849

You deserved it 4 631

By CassidyQueen - 06/06/2015 02:14 - United States - Warrenton

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 235

You deserved it 5 566

B0NER 2

Thursday 24 November 2011 16:02

Must have good boobies

rayrayray23 1

Thursday 24 November 2011 16:02

Best solution: Go to Narnia.

Comments

docscientist 9

Thursday 24 November 2011 20:55

Wow, such a romantic.

QueenPerrywinkle 1

Thursday 24 November 2011 21:11

'awkward silence'

zbrown19 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 21:17

Just don't cheat and you'll be okay!

2kj 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 21:20

Sounds like a catch

flyingfox408 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 21:33

He sounds awesome

lishaa1017 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 21:36

Typical guy! Beware

KiddNYC1O 20

Thursday 24 November 2011 21:39

Don't know if trolling or just stupid...

jmader 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 21:39

dont be a **** and dont cheat on him, problem solved

DrumlineChick 7

Thursday 24 November 2011 21:47

Well that didn't sound ****** up at all?

nickyjp 17

Thursday 24 November 2011 21:57

I dated a girl like that once and I agree FYL

Lazydirt 5

Thursday 24 November 2011 21:59

dont cheat on him.... just dump him en then start dating

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The Top

Today, my crush let me know that he has a prom date. Obviously I'm supportive because I just want him to be happy, even if it's not me. I casually let him know that I'm going with someone else too, and now he's really mad about it. If he'd asked me before, I would've said yes. Like… Hello? How dare I get a prom date! FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 81

Today, I was working at the pharmacy and had a older man come in. He was buying Viagra and, by law, we are required to ask if the patient had any questions. His lovely response was, "When you coming over so I can test this stuff out?" His wife and daughter thought it was hilarious. I could've died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 846

You deserved it 635

The Top

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 863

You deserved it 7 003

Today, I got so stressed about my upcoming final exams that, in the silent section of the library, I had a panic attack and almost passed out. No one helped me. 3 people shushed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 365

You deserved it 9 582

Today, I woke up with greasy hair, despite taking a shower last night. After washing my hair several times and it not going away, I realized that yesterday I put aerosol deodorant in my hair instead of hairspray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 278

You deserved it 1 260

Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a picture a popular girl I don't talk to had posted of her fake ID. She had used my full name and identical signature. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 846

You deserved it 114

Today, my friends and family staged an intervention for me. Of course, I assumed it was a result of my raging alcoholism. Nope. It was due to my obsession with buying plants. They were deadly serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 167

Today, I talked to my crush for twenty minutes at Wal-mart. Then I realized I forgot to take off my Weight Watchers meeting nametag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 154

You deserved it 27 280