Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll...

By Faithful - 24/11/2011 10:01 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 274

You deserved it 7 726

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Same thing different taste

Small comforts

By Anonymous - 22/03/2020 22:36

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend admitted to having an affair. To comfort me, he said, "But you have bigger boobs, so you have nothing to worry about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 690

You deserved it 185

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 16:11 - Canada - Stoney Creek

Today, my fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make my boobs larger. It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 739

You deserved it 6 533

By KBL3 - 11/08/2010 09:16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 216

You deserved it 14 971

By Ggirl - 01/10/2013 19:41 - United States - Camarillo

Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 572

You deserved it 15 378

Oddly specific question

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 06:00 - Japan - Osaka

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 541

The Rock

By Anonymous - 26/06/2022 22:00

Today, my bodybuilder boyfriend has been cheating on me, so I slapped him. He has such huge shoulder/neck muscle stuff, his head didn’t even move, and I dislocated 2 fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 989

Practical

By Abused - 13/10/2010 08:36 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 895

You deserved it 20 133

By Anonymous - 24/08/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 398

You deserved it 7 159

By Anonymous - 19/01/2010 07:58 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 849

You deserved it 4 631

By CassidyQueen - 06/06/2015 02:14 - United States - Warrenton

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 235

You deserved it 5 566

B0NER 2

Thursday 24 November 2011 16:02

Must have good boobies

rayrayray23 1

Thursday 24 November 2011 16:02

Best solution: Go to Narnia.

Comments

cool_story_bro13 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 18:55

creepy person...if he was being serious then I think you need a new boyfriend...

choloman 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 18:56

hot.. sooo hot

OfficeNinja 5

Thursday 24 November 2011 19:01

At least he is not going to keep your head impaled on a stick, or make a coat out of your skin - like the psychopath from Silence of The Lambs.

Rasetsu 10

Thursday 24 November 2011 19:07

Don't cheat? And FYL big time.

liviangels97 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 19:09

nice boyfriend you got there. he's definately a keeper.

Harrisonwoody 3

Thursday 24 November 2011 19:15

You better not cheat on him !

Cherokeefeet 3

Thursday 24 November 2011 19:19

Lol

emodude44 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 19:25

Fake your death. Flee singapore Call the cops on him Get plastic surgery Live under an assumed name in America

hawaiianfire 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 19:31

And oh so thoughtful. Don't forget about that part :D

thecovert 7

Thursday 24 November 2011 19:35

Sleep well.

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Fight Family Work Art Love Relatable Students Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Intimacy Pregnancy Relationship advice Cheating Friends Teenagers Sex Embarrassing Revenge Food

The Top

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 906

You deserved it 74 254

Today, I'm a graduate of a wealthy public school in So Cal. It astonishes me how many of my classmates don’t see a problem with today’s politicians, or gas, rent, and food prices. I was given shelter but had to earn everything I had growing up. I knew I wasn’t crazy though they acted like I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 95

The Top

Today, my niece came to visit from out of town. It's also the day my partner tested positive for Covid. To minimize contact, I told her I would take her to the train station while he isolates. She refused. She then spent the day sitting as close to me as possible, hoping I was a carrier. She WANTED to catch it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 134

Today, I went on a date. I went to the bathroom for five minutes and returned to find my date had not only left, but poured ketchup all over our food to ruin it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 592

You deserved it 195

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I could never marry him because he's a Yankees fan. He told me he could never marry me because he couldn't see himself having a terrible love life for the rest of his life. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 689

You deserved it 13 989

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 060

You deserved it 5 353

Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 429

You deserved it 3 377

Today, not only did I shit myself on my way to work, I left my house keys in the bathroom after I cleaned up. It's $90 to replace them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 159