Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML
Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? Because I became a vegetarian. Apparently, he doesn't believe in "not eating meat." FML
Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I could never marry him because he's a Yankees fan. He told me he could never marry me because he couldn't see himself having a terrible love life for the rest of his life. He was serious. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for Halloween. He said "Single". FML
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Top comments
HazzaBoo 3
Is he reading Twilight? :P hope not
toelie 26
Good riddance.
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Comments (298)
chosha_fml 27
Lucky escape OP. Lucky escape.
ekb777 13
Put him in the sun and see if he sparkles. Then you'll know he's a vampire ;)
Factor_fml 6
Vampires don't reflect in mirrors, can regenerate limbs, and turn into bats. Would he care to demonstrate?
worldclassrager 41
just hope your not called Bella when word gets out about this one...your on team reality while your ex is on Edward (?) when he gets his sanity back and Burns the twilight shit things may work back out...
poppyseed420 9
And your complaing why?
whatwhyhoo 10
Why is being single bad?
freshx_fml 6
You're probably better off. I mean, look what happened to Sookie Stackhouse!
hateevryone 15
You should be celebrating. You're free of an idiot.
stargirl19 2
You couldn't play along?
hailezz349 5
U shouldve told him ur a fairy! LOL