Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML
Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? Because I became a vegetarian. Apparently, he doesn't believe in "not eating meat." FML
Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I could never marry him because he's a Yankees fan. He told me he could never marry me because he couldn't see himself having a terrible love life for the rest of his life. He was serious. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for Halloween. He said "Single". FML
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Top comments
HazzaBoo 3
Is he reading Twilight? :P hope not
toelie 26
Good riddance.
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Comments (298)
poptart914 1
you know u should have believed him just becuz the worlds secrets have been made to be something made up most fiction things are real people don't just sit around an make shit up those things are seen an kept secret to make profits off of
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Dayum, you blew off Lestat after he trusted you. YDI Just kidding, your boyfriend is an idiot.
cman024 4
sounds like your better off.
Comrade_Nova 6
Did he sparkle in the sun light?
guttedbrit 26
You deserve much better than that! You're better off I believe honey. Chin up :)
ruthi666 23
If he was a vampire he would just drain you for not believing him so I think it's safe to say he's a little off.
dccomics94 12
Two points: Number one that is quite peculiar. Number two he had a point about trust, just don't trust he's a vampire.
Osyx 20
Well at least he isn't a tampon ;)
vividpictures 17
In these situations the proper response would be "okay babe.." With a smile and a nod.
mikuxxhatsune 32
What is this, Taming of the shrew?